VVV- Have a break -VVV

Day 828, 13:05 • Published in Canada Canada • by TaiwanPanda



TaiwanPanda is back after 5 months of no article!

Have a break from Congress Articles, though voting for me in Manitoba wouldn't hurt 😉
Have a laugh on Panda and enjoy ~

This is a true story sent by an IT employee having problems in real life:



INSTALLING WIFE 1.0

Subject: Wife 1.0

To: Technical Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of
this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Pokernight 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Monday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the un-install for Wife 1.0 does not work.

Can you help me, please!!!

Thanks,

Chris

Tech Support Writes Back

Dear Chris:

This is a very common problem male employees complain about, but it is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.

It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system.

Look in your help files under “Warnings-Alimony/Child Support”. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults(GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the DOS-command

C😕APOLOGIZE or click the I’M SORRY! Icon for Macintosh systems. In any case avoid excessive use of the Esc key because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE/SORRY command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance.

Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0. DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to YOUR hardware.

Best of luck.

Tech support






Question of the day: What would you do if you have problem with your Wife 1.0?