Join the new world

To the Ladies and Gentlemen who live in RL in Ireland and those reading by morning, Welcome to the Late Article with Johannes Cauf

A very good evening everyone,you've just voted in CP elections and it's been a long day. Grab a chair and some malted milk and let me entertain you to the best of my ability.

For tonight's article we have:
*Political Satire
*Late Poetry
*Five False Facts
*The Quote of The Night

BREAK-BREAK-BREAK-BREAK-BREAK-BREAK-BREAK-BREAK-BREAK-BREAK

THE POLITICIAN'S WIFE

MP🙁storms into room)Bloody Nonsense, Bah!

WIFE:What's wrong darling?

MP:The peasants are revolting!

WIFE:Eugh! Tell me about it, I once met a peasant wh-

MP:NO WILHELMINA I MEAN THEY'VE LAUNCHED A PUTSCH, WE NEED TO MOVE NOW!

WIFE🙁oblivious)I am thinking perhaps Sicilia darling, it's nice this time of year. I'll pack my things

MP:No point, the plane will be loaded full!

WIFE🙁aghast)What could we possibly be putting in there to warrant that?

MP🙁sarcastically)Try the State Treasury

WIFE😒imply no time darling, I thought we needed to move?

MP:Yes you bloody woman now grab some essentials and let's move!

2 HOURS LATER

WIFE🙁exasperated)I don't understand why you couldn't just offer them that fake democracy that you said always works with the 'mindless twigs that are the peasantry'

MP🙁abashed) I was trying to steal the whole treasury, I was a bit distracted to try that dear, will you hurry up? The rebels could be here at any moment

WIFE🙁annoyed)Well I'm sorry George! You said the peasants are too poor to rebel, if I'd have known I would have melted down the gold cutlery into bullion for transfer into our swiss account!

MP: (Annoyed) Nobody's perfect. Let's move!

(loud knocking on door)

Revolutionaries: IN THE NAME OF THE REVOLUTION OPEN THIS DOOR!

WIFE🙁Loudly) Will you be wanting the cutlery too then?

MP🙁sigh)KILL ME.......

REVOLUTIONARY:That, can be arranged.


Late Poetry

The Election by Fakelin Meedupahroohney

The Politicians they gather
Their wallets are full, or rather
They've appropriated the treasury
Then later commit perjury
During the late election season

The outcome is rigged so say the poor
By those MPs who love to shag hoors
"Worry not"says the judge
"For I shall not budge"
Until I'm paid for my silence in Coors

Five False Facts about The USA(hint of satire and humor)
1)It's fully democratic
2)The politicians all care
3)Corporations do not have a sway
4)Gun violence is uncommon
5)It's the greatest country on Earth

The Quote of the Night
A great Philippine Comedian once sai😛 "Success is Relative,More Success;More relatives"

And that's all from me today, thank you for reading this far into the Late Article, see you in the next article. Goodnight and Good Luck ladies and gentlemen