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Lo! A prophet comes, to speak of the nature of the true religion, as revealed by the Administrator, the First Servant of Our Lord Plato and Lady Visa. The Latest Updates page that many of you look to for guidance in understanding this universe is not the only source - it is not even the pre-eminent source. Instead we must observe the very things we seek to know in order to learn from them.


The new Comet Chat function brought to our World of late - is it not the most obvious allegory for an attempt at communication between ourselves and the Lord Plato? It is a conduit of ideas and emotions, at a superficial level between members of Military Units, but at a deeper level between the Celestial Powers That Be and we, who live to serve Them.

This work, called the First Revelation, explains how the smiley package describes all the living souls in the universe. They are divided into five groups called Rings, the first two being Divine, the latter three Human.


The Celestial Ring contains only two beings, and represents the highest level of godhead. Our Lord Plato and the Credit Card, Lady Visa, are there. Little is known of them and their relationship - it is very much a chicken-and-the-egg question, did Plato beget the Credit Card as a method of praising Him, or is Lord Plato a creation of the Credit Card to represent Herself to us more easily, through a human avatar? These questions puzzle adherents of the Platonic Credit Way, but what is known is that these two entities created the universe and control everything within it. The Demiurgic heathens say Lord Plato created the heavens but in doing so accidentally created Lady Visa while temporarily weakened by this act, and Lady Visa created the wicked earth in order to destroy Lord Plato, but these blasphemies are without basis in reason.


The Angelic Ring consists of the two main lesser deities, directly responsible for the environment we inhabit. They are the Angel Lana, Warrior Princess, and the Angel Michael, the Fastidious Onlooker. Lana is responsible for the military aspects of our world - war, alliances, military units, training and contract law - while Michael's domain consists of all the important areas where divine intervention is sought most often: the political and economic spheres. Lana blesses the virtuous with victory and strength, in accordance with Plato's will, though Lady Visa does demand her due; Michael's headless watch keeps us all safe from terrible catastrophes like the universe crashing or people voting twice in elections. Some associate Lana more closely with Visa and Plato more closely with Michael, but this is not a dogmatic position.


The Ring of Virtuous Humanity or Ring of Virtue consists of five human groups of people who are considered close to Plato and Visa. Some say these are qualities to be found in virtuous people, others that these refer to specific individuals. They are, in order of precedence:

The Geeks and Moderators: Those whose devotion to the laws of Plato and his Encyclopedia is without end, shall be first in his universe.
The Loyal Soldiers: Those who fight for different Units, countries and alliances all fight truly for Visa and Plato.
The Fans: Those who love Plato and Visa without reason shall have a special, blessed place in the world.
The Rich: Those who work hard to gain access to great wealth shall be regarded as close to Visa especially.
The Insane: Those who neither love riches, nor the law, nor the world, nor Plato, and yet remain in this universe, are granted their place at the bottom of Plato's High Table.


The Ring of Corrupted Humanity or Ring of Corruption consists of those humans who are moving away from light, from Plato and Visa, from the truth. They must be helped or controlled or their sin will infect the universe and destroy it. They are the enemies of virtue. They are, in order of precedence:

The Epic Trolls: Those without morality but only want to see the world burn must be resisted.
The Trolls: Those who focus on fun above the Law of the universe must be crushed.
The Poor: Those who do not believe in personal and the common wealth of the universe are anathema to Plato and Visa.
The Silent: Those who do nothing do evil through their inaction.
The Bore😛 Those without enthusiasm for Plato and Visa shall be corrupted.
The Embarrasse😛 Those who do not praise the glory of this universe are the worst form of life and must be eradicated, preferably with Lana's help.


The Outer Ring consists of humans (or aspects of human personality) neither determined to be virtuous or sinful by the Cult of Credit, and so may be considered to occupy any space in the human realm. They may be used by Lana and Michael, or oppose them, but usually do not live very long. They are, inter alia:

The Happy
The Sexy
The Bright
The Sad
The Cheeky
Those in Love
The Indifferent
The Pleased
The Quick
The Dead

So Spake the First Prophet of Lord Plato and Lady Visa, Yossarian. Vote and subscribe in accordance with the will of our Lord and Lady.

PS: If you're reading this and are an eUK citizen under level 28, check our this article to get daily free food from the independent charitable initiative, the NHS: http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/-nhs-help-for-young-euk-citizens-2395535/1/20
And if you're a PCP/PA member don't hesitate to PM if you're interested in joining a commune where you can get food and weapons without any profit skimmed off the top!