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This week, I am going to share some jokes with you all. Some are NSFW, which I will mark appropriately. I hope you enjoy them.

First Ai😛
My friend was bleeding, and the first aid book told me to apply pressure.
So I told him if he didn’t stop bleeding right away, he would die!



Cakes: (NSFW)
There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.
The little girl says, “Mummy, what are they doing?”
The mother hesitates then quickly replies, “Ummm they are making cakes.”
The next day they are at the zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mom what they are doing and her mom replies with the same response, “Making cakes”
The next day the girl says to her mom, “Mummy, you and daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night right?”
Shocked, the mother asks, “how do you know?”
She says, “because i licked the icing off the sofa.”



Hot Air Balloon:
A man in a hot air balloon is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He shouts to the man to get directions, “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?”
The man below says, “Yes. You’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.”
“you must work in IT,” says the balloonist.
“I do, how did u know” asks the man below.
“well” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but it’s no use to anyone.”
The man below replies, “you much work in management.”
I do, how did u know that?” asks the balloonist.
“well” says the man, “you don't know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”



Last Hoo-Rah: (NSFW)
Two old guys decide to go out for drinks before they die. So Marty and Sam meet at a bar and start drinking. After about 8 or 9 pints, Marty gets an idea. “hey Sam, what do you say we get laid one more time before we clock out?” Excited and drunk out of their minds, they decide to go to a whore house down the street. The lady at the counter realizes how drunk they are and decides if she puts them in a couple of rooms with a blow up doll they won’t know the difference. Marty and Sam get their rooms, go in, and about 15 mins later they come out. Sam looks at Marty and says “Man if i didn't know any better, i'd say my girl was dead because she was cold and didn't move once.” Masty says, “Sam you’re lucky cause i'm pretty sure mine was a witch. I was nibbling on her neck and she farted and flew out the window.”



New Bike:
Mike, an engineer, rides her new bike to his friend Rob’s house, who is also an engineer. Rob asks mike, “where did u get that new bike?” Mike tells Rob about the encounter he had that very morning. He said, “A beautiful bombshell blonde woman came riding up to my house while i was watering the lawn. She stopped in front of the house, took off all her clothes and said i can take what i want!”
Rob looks at Mike and says, “Yeah, the clothes wouldn’t have fit you.”



This one is funny and deep at the same time:
Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably sh**.


Hope you all enjoyed these jokes! 🙂

O7
LTG Vrpanch
XO, Airborne

Airborne

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Application: Airborne Application
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