Join the new world

Good Afternoon my Fellow Countrymen, I am Humo R. McSatir bringing you a complete and not at all inaccurate view on the current conflict against Canada

Through my numerous sources i can indeed confirm that our maple syrup drinking brothers from the far north are in current conflict with our nation.

But who leads this conflict? What do we really know of the Prime Minister known as Rylde?

After much blackmail and whinging on my part, My boss Mr.Cauf reluctantly sent me abroad saying "Humo, if you mess this up i will flay ye and put you out to dry on the fecking spire!" as a form of goodbye to me, his most valued employee.

To gather information on Mr.Rylde i turned to my numerous sources abroad.

Reports from abroad say that the current leader of eCanada is a pompous poof.
We went out to the streets of eCanada to gain the opinion of the general populace.


"Rylde? Yeah i knew 'im, he was me best mate in high school 'e was!" Was the response of a homeless man when asked about eCanada's leader, Rylde. We can of course trust the man's word as he was in no way drunk.


"He's our Prime Minister,He's a Nice and Just man" was the stern reply of a government official when asked about Mr.Rylde, the official was later spotted in Mr.Rylde's office drinking 200 year old wine, I have drawn the conclusion that the man told the truth and was not corrupt.


After coming across with such contrasting opinions however, I decided it was time to head to a place of logic and reason. Hence i headed down to the local pub.

"Down with Rylde!" Hollered a drunken customer as he ordered another bloody mary
fights broke out after that statement,I was forced to vacate the premises before i got myself killed.



I headed down to a Polling Station and talked to a Electoral Officer, the interview is scripted below:

Officer: What do you want?

McSatir: Just wanted to know about Mr.Rylde's opponents in the polls since elections coming soon

Officer:What do you want to Know?

McSatir: Who are his main opponents for the next election?

Officer: Ah now, i really cannot say for sure. The latest polls suggest that in first place is a bucket of worms, in second place is Mr.Rylde and in third is a patient from an insane asylum.

McSatir: Will it be a tough election?

Officer: Oh yes, Luckily for Mr.Rylde he is running the election on issues not personality because the bucket of worms has been leading polls as most personable candidate!

McSatir: We certainly hope you don't get too stressed on the election week, Thank you very much for the interview

Interview End


And so I ended my search for answers then, I came to a conclusion. Mr.Rylde was indeed all of these things.

Perhaps by seemingly being so contradicting to himself he has won the votes of the Canadian people.

Maybe they looked at him and thought "Yup! There's the ars*hole gentleman we want for PM"


There's a knocking at my office,Damn it! It's Mr. Cauf, my career is over. Dear readers this has been Humo R. McSatir, buy me a pint in the afterlife will ye?

Disclaimer: All the views and statements expressed in this article are not a reflection of the author of the article. All views,statements and Seemingly insulting phrases are used only for the sole purpose of comedy and satire


Have a good day guys and gals!