Boredom: What is Love? Baby Don't Bore Me
Day 3,184, 04:52
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Published in Ireland 
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by
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by Johannes Cauf
Tired of boredom? Are you losing control of your mental faculties due to how mind numbingly boring reality is? Well then you're at the right place! Welcome to Our Boredom Series where we give the average citizen suggestions to quench their boredom
As always a list of legitimate and completely serious suggestions to quench one's boredom can be found below:
And The List Begins!
1. Look for a Swan, begin conversing with said Swan. Give the swan a minute to absorb the situation then ask it if it knows where Swan Lake is, Keep asking until the swan pecks you in annoyance.
2. Go to eCanada, walk up to a passer by and ask incredulously "Where are the igloos and the taigas and the snow beasts?" When questioned about your sanity simply explain "It's Cananda ain't it?"
3. Wear ONLY a Lion Mask and go around roaring at people. When you hear the police sirens, get dressed in a telephone booth and assist the police in finding "That insane man in a lion mask who went streaking"
4. Observe eAmericans, Slowly lose your faith in humanity
5. Approach passers by and throw pigeons at them (See the book, Pigeon Throwing:An Extensive Guide, for more information)
6. Enter the CP's office and state "Take me to your leader" to a nearby guard, ignore the CP trying to say that he/she is the Leader
7. Run for CP,Hold a Defeat Party if defeated
8. If you are currently following number 7 and win, Insist on being called President MyD*ick and name your official residence "Box"
9. Sacrifice a Crab to the Shrimp Goddess, cackle evilly at cheating the gods.
10. Go to a Book Signing and insist that you are the CP in diguise and must be let in. If you are refused, Remove all your clothes in protest
11. Find someone trying to relieve their boredom, laugh loudly at the futility of their efforts since they are not following this guide.
12. Go to a eCoka Kola Factory and insist that ePapsi tastes better
13. Go to a ePapsi Factory and insist that eCoka Kola is superior.
14. Build a self aware AI and instantly make it question it's existence and your sanity (Insist that YOU are the AI and that it is merely a construct of your eBrain)
15. Laugh at how long and utterly boring this article is and then laugh some more at the Irony
Disclaimer: This is a humor article. The Insider View is not responsible for any mental,emotional,spiritual and physical damage that trying to genuinely follow this article's suggestions might bring.
Hope you had a funny read.
Have a good Day Ladies and Gents!
As always a list of legitimate and completely serious suggestions to quench one's boredom can be found below:
And The List Begins!
1. Look for a Swan, begin conversing with said Swan. Give the swan a minute to absorb the situation then ask it if it knows where Swan Lake is, Keep asking until the swan pecks you in annoyance.
2. Go to eCanada, walk up to a passer by and ask incredulously "Where are the igloos and the taigas and the snow beasts?" When questioned about your sanity simply explain "It's Cananda ain't it?"
3. Wear ONLY a Lion Mask and go around roaring at people. When you hear the police sirens, get dressed in a telephone booth and assist the police in finding "That insane man in a lion mask who went streaking"
4. Observe eAmericans, Slowly lose your faith in humanity
5. Approach passers by and throw pigeons at them (See the book, Pigeon Throwing:An Extensive Guide, for more information)
6. Enter the CP's office and state "Take me to your leader" to a nearby guard, ignore the CP trying to say that he/she is the Leader
7. Run for CP,Hold a Defeat Party if defeated
8. If you are currently following number 7 and win, Insist on being called President MyD*ick and name your official residence "Box"
9. Sacrifice a Crab to the Shrimp Goddess, cackle evilly at cheating the gods.
10. Go to a Book Signing and insist that you are the CP in diguise and must be let in. If you are refused, Remove all your clothes in protest
11. Find someone trying to relieve their boredom, laugh loudly at the futility of their efforts since they are not following this guide.
12. Go to a eCoka Kola Factory and insist that ePapsi tastes better
13. Go to a ePapsi Factory and insist that eCoka Kola is superior.
14. Build a self aware AI and instantly make it question it's existence and your sanity (Insist that YOU are the AI and that it is merely a construct of your eBrain)
15. Laugh at how long and utterly boring this article is and then laugh some more at the Irony
Disclaimer: This is a humor article. The Insider View is not responsible for any mental,emotional,spiritual and physical damage that trying to genuinely follow this article's suggestions might bring.
Hope you had a funny read.
Have a good Day Ladies and Gents!
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Comments
boobies?
Maybe I'll put something relating to them in the next one.
Hell, whoever wants to suggest suggestions do so
I'll pick a few to include in the next one
ahh boobies
Well done. Good article. I am less bored already.