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'Sup fellow subjects?

As part of our government's goal in re-educating the populace once and for all about the history of our glorious e-nation, unmarred by the nonsense propaganda of the Polish and their friends, I am here to present to you, in great earnestness, the top 5 sexiest presidents that we have ever had to grace our presence on this wonderful online community.

Number 5
Robinklub



Although his time in our executive halls was brief, his good charms and stylish outfit made him to die for. On the outside, he may look like a slacker who never challenged himself to leave the Second Division of the military, even though he is a Titan with 1,000 Battle Hero medals. On the inside though, he is a warm, cuddly, and loyal member of our society who also occasionally likes to assassinate people with sharp pointy things (...in bed). A winning combination amongst the Czech greats and sure to make the ladies swoon.

Number 4
Bootcha/MrFahrenheit



You may be thinking that this guy is ancient. He has been president 7 times and was around during the merger with Slovakia. In-game, that has to be about 40 years or something I mean come on. Nevertheless, he has aged well and continues to stay hip with the new kids, even changing his name to something more snappy. (Bootcha!) His avatar clearly advertises the pot of gold at the end of his rainbow, if you get my gist. With angelic features and a bright smile, he's ready to be the grandpa of your dreams.

Number 3
Jankhos



All those nights laboring away at the desk, struggling to write his speeches, well, can you imagine what that must be like for an elephant? He has not forgotten his time in these hallowed halls of civil service, and that goes double for the ladies who have gone out with him. A mysterious, esoteric creature, somehow his relationships get a little bit too complicated (as tends to happen with relationships with elephants), but can he help it if his hulking masculine figure makes him an irresistible grab? A well-deserved number 3 spot for this bureaucrat.

Number 2
Red Duck



How can one meme manage to look so tantalizing? His piercing gaze leaves you with a sense of discomfort, yet also a gentle vulnerability. As he looks into a diplomat's eyes, he seems to know exactly what to say to get what he wants. He'll negotiate all night long until the parties are all tuckered out, before leaving the other side in the morning with all the RIGHTFUL CZECH CLAIMS gone and the diplomat feeling cold and lonely...obviously not at all like his love life though, nah. This duck knows he's hot and isn't afraid to show it.

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And our Number 1 objectively sexiest president who has ever lavished our land is...

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Pirkus



If I have to explain why this is the sexiest train you will ever see, there is something wrong with you. I just feel bad. What the heck am I supposed to say? Just leave this article. No, leave a comment about how hopelessly unsophisticated you are and then leave the internet forever you philistine. Get out of your internet cafe and stop trolling our territories.

And don't even think about taking the train home.

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I hope this article has been informative and educational. Glory to the Czech Republic.

Warm regards,