[Derp4PP] The Right Derp for the Job

Day 5,528, 19:44 • Published in USA USA • by Derphoof

Four months ago, a transition was made. Myself, and many of those who long made up the USWP, decided to shutter the party and join up with our friends in The Federalist Party. Since then, I have laid observant in the shadows. I have slowly grown prouder….

Hornier.

This has grown to feverous levels, and so I emerge once again. For a while, I thought I might just lay down and die away. Yet, I shall not die, but live and proclaim the glory of the Feds. I shall run for Party President.

While tacos are indeed delicious and exciting, I propose that a horsey term will be quite fun and exciting as well. If I fail to meet expectations, you may kill me, and grind me up to make more delicious tacos. So either way, it's a win-win.

No matter in what way you support my candidacy, via voting or eating of my flesh, I guarantee you will become changed. In a moment, in the blinking of an eye, you will undergo a radical revolution of the heart. For I am so fervently filled with love of the Feds, that you will only be able to focus on serving and loving your fellow Feds. You will become prouder and hornier than you could have ever imagined.

You will click on the party page and just simply be overcome with joy, upon reminding yourself that you are indeed a party member. You will be consumed with zeal for the Feds. The dark night of your soul will be at an end, as you are bathed in the light of Federalist knowledge and glory.

Become prouder.
Become hornier.

Vote for Derphoof