[CP] Balkancentrics and a Turkey Baster

Day 1,652, 11:31 • Published in Canada Canada • by Sperry
Reposted. Plato, I've modded the Internet before, calm down. 😉






“Wake up in the morning feelin’ like P-Diddy” - No. This does not happen in Sperryland. I woke up this morning bent around like a pretzel. Apparently I haven’t quite learned my lesson about falling asleep in this chair. My family has all but given up trying to fix this - mostly they just shut off the lights around me and hope that I don’t step in the cat vomit when I wake up. But no worries! Today my discovery was “oh good, it’s dry this time!” Another staggering new low to share with the Internet.



Some Thoughts on Money

It’s been a surprisingly long time since Congress talked about finances. I won’t go into why that’s odd. Of late, Congress has noticed that Plato is evil and finances aren’t what they used to be. And so they consider: what expenses (if any) can we cut, and what should we do to boost income? Cabinet - namely Mac and I - are chatting about financial options, and fortunately some outside friends are willing to lend a hand to the Canadian system. It’s promising to see former contributors come back to the table for helpful reasons.

MPPs are one of the items on the financial table. They’re our second largest expense, but then, we only actually have three expenses. MUs, MPPs, and Capital Investment. The game doesn’t have the complexity for anything else. Funding MUs remains the main priority. We throw all of our extra money here in hopes of boosting Canada’s influence on the world stage - not to mention keeping our players alive.

So can MPPs save us money? Tl;dr, yes. Not every MPP is essential and not every MPP is actually worth 10,000 CC. Some are glorified Facebook Friend Requests. I think most CPs will readily admit that they don’t benefit from every MPP on the battlefield. But how much can Congress expect to save on MPPs at current? Tl;dr, not much. Right now we carry 30 MPPs - that’s $300,000 CC. At best you could skim 10 of those before you started to eat into countries that would cause us problems to avoid MPPing. When (not if - if was 200😎 Canada gets a war, cutting more than 10 MPPs enters into the middle power range. Ya don’t cut middle power country MPPs, because those are the ones who will prioritize you when their borders are clean (see: Canada right now).

If Congress is looking to push our MU funding up to another donation level ($400,000), then MPPs alone will not cut it. Taxation - particularly against the dead and dying - is the only way Congress can influence income on that large a scale. That or pay for ads on Facebook. Which, frankly, I support. ‘Cuz I like Facebook.


EDEN in Chatter

It’s a staple of some presidential months for certain fronts to be silent. Last July, it was a rare day when I saw any real conversation in any EDEN channel. All of the action was in Terra nations, and so most of the conversations happened there. This term is a little different - EDEN is a very chatty bunch, uncharacteristic of any large group of people (if you’ve ever sat in any IRC, you know that the rule “the larger, the quieter” applies with shocking consistency).

Not all of this conversation is positive, however. There’s a lot of tension building up inside EDEN, and it’s no breach of security for me to mention that in public. Anybody who puts any eye to the international media can easily see the same things I have: this spring, at least 2 EDEN nations have left “ultimatums” for pro-TEDEN states. This isn’t a hallmark sign of unity, collaboration, or strong leadership. An ultimatum is code for “I really, really want to beat the living crap out of you, but I have to send this to at least appear as though I am reasonable.”

And the trouble is, it doesn’t appear reasonable at all. There’s nothing honourable about threatening the TEDEN dynamic for regional bonuses, or invading TEDEN states under the pretext of “helping.” ONE isn’t a great alliance. If it’s possible, they’re more Balkancentric than EDEN is. But EDEN certainly isn’t helping itself by spending half their time torching each other’s lawns. It’s embarrassing.


Well, at Least Britain Likes Them

The tl;dr of this section: Ireland, what gives?

Ireland and Canada have a long history. Both governments regularly “share” players - some of the biggest names in Ireland have served in Canada, and vice versa. Canadian VP Eric Last has served the Irish Cabinet. Former Canadian Roger Griswald has a major following there. Fritzhill, another former Canuck, is extremely close to the Irish. And the Irish frontrunner for CP next month is Ethel Rosenberg, who has spent more months in Canadian Cabinet than I have.

So you’ve got to wonder: what would it take for me, the Canadian President, to ask Ireland when it will get it together? What could possibly be happening that Canada - who was an alliance embarrassment for most of 2012 - is wondering when Ireland will stop derping about?

It’s not the Irish peace treaty with Britain. I get that. Ireland is just as tired of stupid wars as I am. The treaty with Britain wasn’t clearly communicated (sorry Acacia), but I get why you want Scotland. It makes sense.

My issue is more with everything that has happened since then. Ireland has, for lack of a better phrase, pulled about a dozen Canadas. Attacking Denmark is fine, if the German-Denmark Union signs off on it. Which they didn’t. Invading Sweden is swell, if TEDEN didn’t have a dozen fronts already. Which they do. Smacking rogue Congressmen for playing CP is fine, but it’s probably not the best idea to have your CP openly declare that they probably won’t sign an MPP with a fellow EDEN state. ‘Not even on the best of terms’ is a brave phrase.

It’s not my place to decide who leads Ireland or how they lead it. I don’t pretend that Canada has a clean history or a perfect batch of citizens - we don’t. But in a climate where TEDEN is not in the best of states and players on both sides are itching for a change, it’s probably just a little bit stupid to jump into a basting pan and stick an apple in your mouth.