[Aramec4CP] Crew Love

Day 2,837, 03:21 Published in USA USA by Aeriadne
Crank it.



Crew Love
As I previously wrote, I'm only one guy, and it takes a village to raze a child (or something like that). So let's not get bogged down in semantics: this squad's pretty baller. These secretaries are top shelf stuff. My cabinet? Chippendale. No, not that kind.

Well... maybe that kind.

You be the judge.



SECRETARY OF SWAG

Tenshibo

Ostensibly, this is still a game. Hypothetically. Precautions should be taken to prevent us from thinking otherwise, lest mental fatigue morph it into something... sinister. Tenshibo brings a necessary ingredient to every Daily Briefing and IRC channel: levity. His presence is less court jester, more dope friend who's already there at the party and faded like an eclipse. In point of fact, you're not really sure whether he left the last party in the first place or just crashed on the couch the whole week through. Honestly, how did he get here? Dude doesn't have a car. But that's aight, he's always got those stories.



SECRETARY OF HOMELAND SECURITY

Jude Connors

Jude is an incredibly old friend. Very, very old. Crusty, even. I don't think I can impress upon you just how ruggedly ancient the man is. Just... so old.

He's done a great job this last term in his role as sovereign guard of our giant immigrant zapping fences, though. Oh, did you not know he was doing that? He totally was. Bang up job of it too. Just incredible stuff. I wish I could explain it to you, but the intricacies of it are a little beyond me.

I mean, do you see a PTO going on right now? Is this article in some forig tongue? Do you see Ajay prancing about like some strudel stuffed despot?

And you didn't even thank Jude. Shame on you.



SECRETARIES OF PROPAGANDA

FUN: Ace Viper || MEDIA: Resoula || GRAPHICS: Temiser

Most people write off media (pun intended). But with what I've got coming down the gullet of this nation's throat (pun unintended), we're going to require more than secretarial wardens of the written word. We will need warriors, wielding games, images, and information like swords against the dragons of our apathetic malcontent. These are sacred roles; none know their oaths better than I.

These three will be working very closely with the bros over at Cit Affairs on THE BIG DOMESTIC PROJECT that I'm gonna talk about in my next article. Lotta deputy interchange'll be going on between those two departments. Very close ties. Too close? Hopefully not Icarus levels.



SECRETARY OF CITIZEN AFFAIRS

Orikfricai

If you haven't read Eragon - the acclaimed youth fantasy series by Montana native Christopher Paolini - it's pretty good. If you haven't seen Eragon - the movie based on the acclaimed youth fantasy series by Montana native Christopher Paolini - then don't. It's just awful. Seriously, stick to the books.

Anyways, Orik is a dwarf in the book, and "fricai" means "friend" in the ancient tongue. That's neither here nor there in terms of Citizen Affairs. Just thought y'all needed to know that. Orik's a great guy though. The player, not the dwarf. Though the dwarf is alright as well.

Anyways, the player Orik is good at his job. He's diligent (like a dwarf), likes handing out weapons (like a dwarf), and doesn't smell (unlike a dwarf). I'm sure he won't burn down my precious merged departments, either. EddieA will be sticking around as Dean of the American University. Sorry Eddie, couldn't get the formatting to work on your image alongside Orik's. Also, nobody wants to see your face.



THE WAR DEPARTMENT

DEFENSE: Senryaku || NSC CHAIR: Yui MHCP001 || ADVISOR: RaccoonGoon

So far as I can discern, there are two things Senryaku truly enjoys in this game: working on USAF stuff, and being an insufferable jerkwad. While he's mediocre at the latter, he's incredible at the former, and the changes he's brought about to our military infrastructure are just sublime. Kudos to him for basically doing it by himself.

In terms of cabinet inclusions, there was never an opportunity for Coon not to be involved. He tried. Dio knows he tried. He's a very sleepy Coon. Just look at his avatar! So NSC is going to have a swath of deputies next month to carry him around like Queen Sheba on her palanquin. By the way, palanquins are also called litters, but Coon doesn't play well with cats.

The deputies are all really great people. Some old like Mazzy and ErrOrka, some new like Jaden A. and SColbert. NSC Chair is gonna be Yui, though. Cus really? All he does is linger. He's always here. Online. Lingering. It's gonna be nice seeing something productive coming out of all that instead of just Rocket League banter.



SECRETARIES OF STATE

Derphoof and eShades

Speaking of Rocket League, Derphoof is awful at it. His mother told me, though she had some other choice things to say as well about a bevy other subjects, none of which can be printed here. But what he lacks in video game skills, he makes up for in knowing forig stuff. And being a pony. Somehow, that helps with all the diplomacy. Who knew?

eShades doesn't play Rocket League so far as I can tell. In point of fact, I think his only real hobbies are being suave and making quips. Most of you wouldn't think those are viable hobbies, but then most of you probably haven't spent time with eShades. At least we're rectifying that now. He's a foreign affairs wizard though, classically trained.

I've spent a bit of time talking with the both of them. Did you know that our foreign affairs situation is a tangled web of headaches, confusion, and paradoxes? We'll tackle what's gonna be done about that in my next article along with THE BIG DOMESTIC PROJECT.



CHIEF OF STAFF

MrCarey

I'm not sure if you knew this, but that's actually MrCarey IRL in his avatar. Who does he think he is? Jewitt? Justinious Mcwalburgson III? And why do people who often use pictures of themselves as their game avatars usually have J at the beginning of their names? The world may never know.

Anyways, Carey was in some sort of stud competition recently. Won third place too, funnily enough. ChewChewShoe won the whole thing, though. He's like a Kingsman or something. Pretty fly for a chav guy. Chewie, that is, not Carey. Carey's pretty alright. I'd cuddle with him in a heartbeat over CCS though, no offense to my brit bro. Probably the facial hair that causes that reaction. And the head hair. The back hair too. As well as the arms.

I hope the carpet matches the drapes, is all I'm getting at here.



VICE PRESIDENT

Paul Proteus

This is the one I'm gonna get serious on, I guess. I know a lot of people view Veep as a sort of throwaway position. Just something to grab a party with or whatever. I've always viewed Veep the same way one views your second in a duel. Perhaps that's cus I lived through the Mizu administration and I remember how well Goalie took over. Who knows.

There aren't many people in this game who know my real life name. I'm not a sharing person like that. I'm very cloistered. It's a fault, perhaps. I'm working on it. Paul's one of those guys who has helped cracked that nut.

There's certain people you meet in life and you just click with. You get them, understand them wholly. When you create together, it's memorable. When you relax together, it's invigorating. You share, you laugh, you discuss. And I can honestly say that the relationship I have with Paul is the kind of relationship I want to have with this country the next month. He's exactly who I want in on this potentially wild ride; the sort of person who would be my second in a duel.

Hopefully.



Primary Goals
I got asked on the Socialist Freedom Party forums what would be my primary goal as Country President. The answer I gave was somewhat short. I'd like to expand on the sentiment here.

When September is coming to a close, when all the moments are then made memories and a fresh Country President election is imminent once again, I want each of you to be able to look back on the month we just had, smile to yourselves, and say - without any hesitation - that that was one of the best times you've ever had in this game.


While I've been jovial in my descriptions of each of these individuals, I have picked them for a reason. My respect for their abilities is unquestionable, my hope for their camaraderie high. I see a shining amount of potential in each of them. These are people with places to go, people with vision. I want to coalesce that into a month none of you will ever forget, one that will be discussed long after many of us have left the game.

That's what I want to give you. These are some the people who are gonna help me do it. Thank you for your time and consideration.


The appetizer is out, soups and salads have been served. Next course is the entree, as every good chef knows. A hearty helping of foreign affairs, succulent and tender, I think will play off the leafier greens of domestic quite nicely. Don't you?