The Switzerland Scoop #9

Day 793, 14:51 • Published in Switzerland USA • by Penguin4512
Breaking News!
The eMoldovans wanna know if we can be buddies with them. Check it out.
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/friendship-commitment-an-official-proposal-of-the-foreign-office-moldova-swit-1157154/1/20

Well, I was interested, so I did some research on Moldovan ice cream (you can always judge a country by its ice cream).

This is what I got.

AAAAAARGH!

I'll leave you to make your own decisions. On to the next subject, Searching for Switzerland!

Searching for Switzerlan😛

Yesterday, I took a poll. Random people of different nationalities were asked to mark where they though Switzerland was on a map. Here are the results:


Close one...


Almost...


Umm... no, that's China.


Now that's just insulting!


YEAH! YOU GOT IT!

As you can see, approximately one person out of five can identify Switzerland on a map. Compared to the amount of people who can identify Sweden on a map, I can say we're pretty well off.

Interview with Eleriel:

I was bored one day, so I called up my buddy Eleriel and asked if I could interview him. Immediately recognizing me as the famous reporter Penguin4512, he was more than delighted to.

I will now recount the interview. I asked him about political parties in Switzerland, and what they all are. (Note: I took the liberty of correcting several grammar mistake, using the [] to show where I had replaced something. In example, original sentence: "ice cream is disgusting", corrected sentence: "ice cream is [delicious]&quot😉

Penguin4512: Yo yo yo Eleriel, dawg, wassup. Hey, can you explain some political Switzerland stuff to me?
Eleriel: Sure.
Penguin4512: What happened to those Shaolin blighters? Happy Nuke Year is gone!
Eleriel: They don't actually need a party to run. and so they decided to go the sneaky way and infiltrate themselves everywhere. Luckily [because Swiss people love ice cream] it was taken back by the people who had it before it was the Shaolin party.
Penguin4512: What are the Swiss Elite Party and Majestic 12, dude? Are they bad guys or good guys?
Eleriel: They were political parties TO'd by the Shaolins. They were recently taken back by their rightful owner [and ice cream]. I'd say they are the good guys [because they have ice cream].
Penguin4512: Is Clifford Burns really a (gasp) QUISLING?
Eleriel: [bla bla bla, yup he is]
Penguin4512: Do you like ice cream?
Eleriel: [WOAH, DUDE! I LOVE ICE CREAM, IT'S LIKE RADICAL! LET'S HAVE AN ICE CREAM PARTY!!!]
Penguin4512: GOOD IDEA!
(ice cream party, everybody is invited)





Remember to vote me for a Congress! Have a wonderful eLife!