The Switzerland Scoop #11

Day 798, 14:56 • Published in Switzerland USA • by Penguin4512


Hey... guys...
I know your expecting Penguin4512, but he's not here right now. I'm Schmenguin, his older brother. I'm writing this article today cuz, well... my brother's a sissy.

He stayed up really late last night, until like midnight, at which point he suddenly burst out into tears and ran up to his room.


Look, I know you guys, like, worship him, but to be honest, Penguin's a loser. That's really all I can say. Do you know what he does in his spare time?


So, taking a look around Switzerland, there are already some major problems. First of all, you guys have a region called Deutschschweiz.


Second of all, half your country is owned by Ruskies.


And last, but certainly not least, your country has way too little ice cream.




Goodbye, and