The eRepublik Graveyard Vol.1

Day 2,560, 11:02 • Published in USA USA • by Gnilraps
Cemetery Polka (Mandatory listening)
Day 2560 of the New World
23 November, 2014

Tracker courtesy of Mike Ontry's Hit Tracker


Because I could not stop for Death—
He kindly stopped for me—
The Carriage held but just Ourselves—
And Immortality....
~Emily Dickinson




There is no immortality in a game where Plato controls the server switch. In reality, we could all wake up tomorrow and find that we have ceased to exist.

And so I asked some of my favorite eRepublik Citizens from eUSA and from around the eWorld to immortalize themselves in words. Each of these players received a simple request from me that looked something like this:
“Gnilraps to Plato (or whomever):
I am working on an article for 16 Shells. If you are willing, please answer one question for me:

If you could write your own epitaph for your Citizen, what would it read? 21 words or less please.”

In case the word “epitaph” was unfamiliar to anyone, I linked the definition. Basically an epitaph is the words that appear on your tombstone which either describe you or else send a message to those who remain after you are gone.

My favorite Real Life epitaph is that of John Donne (1572-1631). It reads:
Reader, I am to let thee know,
Donne's body only lies below;
For could the grave his soul comprise,
Earth would be richer than the skies.

I was hoping for some similarly spectacular responses from my friends. After all, I have one of the greatest friends lists in this entire game (as far as I am concerned), and I have high hopes.

So here are some of my favorite responses. Feel free to comment in the comments section as to which is your favorite.

I have many more responses than is practical to place in a single article, so I plan to publish several more issues of the eRepublik Graveyard in upcoming weeks.

If you want to get in on a future issue, simply fill out this form: http://www.tinyurl.com/16ShellsEpitaph



We begin with current eUSA President Oblige:



Here Lies a Whale
"From hell's heart I stab at thee!"
- The Community



Next former Spain CP Rolbap:



Excuse me, I can't stand up.



Legendary eIreland cultural icon Ian Passmore:



He was there when we needed him



Renowned German Tank (and current GAMA) Martin Stettler:



Es wurde auch langsam Zeit mal aufzuhören

(Translation thanks to Supernana:
It's about time to stop. )




Former PoTUS, AMP PP, and all around good guy Israel Stevens:



Drunken Hatchet-man



Super scary mean bad guy who exerts massive mind control techniques upon all who draw near to his magical aura Henry Pfeiffer Arundel:



Veni, Vidi, Vici



CO of the “cult classic” eUS MU C4 Haselrig:



He came (too late),
he saw (too much),
he conquered (too little).




Epic ST6 Commander and benefactor, current eCanadian SGTRock:



vir prudens non contra ventum mingit

(Precise translation because my Latin is impeccable:
The wise man does not piss into the wind.



Netherlandish Titan and longtime contributor to eUSA culture Garmr:



He finally got his shit together. You should too.

(This obviously cannot result in any Forfeit points because he will already be dead.)



Former PoTUS and long-time publisher Paul Proteus:



Here lies Paul Proteus.
He didn't do anything particularly meaningful,
but he had a few friends and entertained a few people.
So it goes.

(I might add that he broke the 21 words or less mandate. Horrifying.)



One of my favorite eCulture observers who never got the attention he deserved olivermellors:



In life, I was ambiguous.
Now, I'm not.



eUSA Poet Laureate in perpetuitiy Phoenix Quinn:



I'll never get out of this world alive.



unOfficial eUS Secretary of Trolling as George sTrolls :



clicked to the end
in between cleaned stinking elites
encouraged others to involved
but alas finally didn't recognize what I started....



Epic before epic was epic Scrabman:



Here lies Scrabman who was vexed by buttonhole hater trolls
(and outlived them all).



Famous for (no) Pants Ralph Ericson:



Pants = Penis Prison



Eternal King and Divine Authority over all he purveys Publius:




...........
...................__
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(


EAMERICAN LEGEND
SERVANT OF DIO
PUBLIUS FIST



And because I always show up to my own party… Gnilraps:



You may now finally return to your regularly scheduled clicking.





You may now return to your regularly scheduled clicking