Join the new world

Dear Diary, the weather is as awful as usual and once again I have to write a political article while drinking a steaming cup of peppermint. Mind you, it's quite unusual as I prefer a classy Earl Grey. However, the amount I was brewing for the flavour begun resembling the prison Ersatz of a drug so I needed a change.

That aside, it seems that I won the party elections. With two votes out of three. That means I have gained an absolute power over the fourth* political movement in the Czech Republic. OH YES!

Not that shortly after I have received a friendship request from Comrade Vlavimir Lenin. Now, that was odd, so I checked my party page just to be greeted with such a message:


I'll be damned. I have received the title of the #1 Czech Communist. All I need to do now is to call Russian, German and, well, Polish tanks. The problem is that:
-I'm a radical conservative
-I'm certainly not green, but quite antisocial and oppressive
-I'm not some revolutionist to fight any fight, especially in anyone's stead

That means one thing - the political movement I lead needs a severe rebranding. Now, you may call me a wanker for that, but at least I wish to be ideologically honest with myself. The only issue is that I don't follow any particular ideology. Oh, wait. How have I just named myself?

This may or may not be a short-lived experiment, but let's roll with it: the Green Socialists are no more. Until the next elections, that is. There is a new party on the horizon, the one which shall proudly and despotically hold the fourth* place in the Czech rankings this month:

The Autocratic National Onanists! Now, the political programme is quite special and its meaningful message might stun you, but at least it can be easily summarised in one sentence.



Emperor of Antarctica
and Chairman of ANO
Thomas Gorzkiewski

*As of 22.05.2016 Autocratic National Onanists are no longer the fourth party due to radical drop of the member count in the Future Allies Party.