Persian Plunder

Day 3,046, 18:15 • Published in USA USA • by Israel Stevens



Persian Plunder
Or how we liberated $3 Million from an Iranian Mercenary Unit and lived to tell the story…

So like, a long time ago (side note: I feel like all my articles start like this. I’ve written this line more than George Lucas…), John Killah was President. This was in 2013 I think. So not a terribly long time ago, but still… years.
Anyways, while he was PotUS, someone (don’t remember who) had the bright idea to go through all of the United States’ Organizations, and check to see if there was anything in them. Like money, or companies (orgs could own companies back in the day), or a newspaper, or whatever. We had a full list of the orgs, and they were all under our control, but no one had actually gone into them and poked around.
Pretty solid idea. If I remember correctly, we found a bunch of gold, cash and some companies.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago.
I roll into the PDB all pumped up to get things done. One of the things I remember, is what happened during John’s term. But I don’t remember if we ever did anything with the money and companies that we found. I had vague memories that we dissolved everything, and pushed it into the reserve. But couldn’t remember for sure. Because you know.... Gin.

So I tasked my awesome Chief of Staff Melissa Rose (seriously, she’s been awesome) with going back through the Organizations and seeing if there is anything still in them, or if we cleaned them out when John was PotUS.

She did what she was supposed to, and changed emails/passwords on some orgs so that she could get into them. Essentially, returning them to being functioning Organizations.





What Melissa found
Turns out, one of the Organizations had a lot of cash in it. And I mean, a lot. A little under 3 Million USD.

The only problem?

It was an Iranian Mercenary Unit.




Check them out.

So the question became, how did the Iranians get a hold of an American Org? And why were they holding over 3 million cash and gold in it?

Melissa posed the question to the cabinet. And Molly Emma answered. According to her records (she’s like the Smithsonian. Seriously, she’s nuts. But in a good way.), the Org in question was the old Rogue Squadron MU Org. There are a few theories over how it fell into Iranian hands, but we’ll leave those for another time.

While Molly was in there poking around, she also discovered that there were offers on the Market from the Org. So it we don't believe that they forgot about the money. This was an active part of the MU.





What now?
The Org was safely in our control. We had changed the email and password. Molly Emma even moved the Org out of Iran and into Sweden. But there was still $3 Million sitting in an org for no real reason.

So we took it.


Went from being super poor, to sitting on over 3 million in cash. We did leave a little money on the account, and all of the gold is still there. Better to keep the gold there in case the admins ever decide to change something.

We waited for the Iranians to contact us. Hoping that someone would notice a missing 3 mil. But there’s been nothing but silence from the Iranians, and it’s been about a week since we raided the Org. It’s really too bad. I really wanted to know how they got their hands on one of our Orgs, and why they thought it was a good idea to put so much money into it.

As much as I wanted to split it with Molly and Melissa, it seemed like a crappy thing to do considering that the only reason we found it was because we ticketed the admins from the CP account.
So, I’m donating it back to the country.

bittersweet…




Dear Iran
Thanks for the cash!!! We appreciate it. Really surprised you haven’t asked about it.

Also, great idea storing money on an American Org. Not so much for you, but super great for us.

S2






Parting thoughts
It would be really nice if Congress decided to lower the taxes, because of this. I mean, that’s a free 3 million in the reserves that we didn’t have before. Really no reason they can’t knock off a few percentage points from that tax rate. It is absurdly high afterall.

Also, shout out to Molly and Melissa for liberating the Persian Plunder. I still think we should have each kept 1 mil… 😉