Join the new world

The nights were long, the days short, such is the life of an Artela fancy boy. We are the chosen few, gigolos to the CP herself. For too long we have remained silent, no more, this is the day in the life of a fancy boy.



OH YEAH

7:00 PM: I wake up after a long Friday night, head pounding, blue cheese dressing still in my butt crack. Yeah, she likes to keep it fresh.

7:02 PM: Check my phone, 40 texts and 29 missed calls. I missed our 6:09 69 appointment, the queen will not be pleased.

7:05 PM: Phone rings, it is her, I know better but I pick it up anyway. "Da f*** you been? This thing ain't going to juice itself", she says. I quickly apologize, and tell her I am on my way to the White House.

8:00 PM: After a shower and covering myself in an Axe cloud, I hop in my government Lamborghini (your tax dollars at work) and head to the White House at the request of my lady.

8:30 PM: I enter the Oval Office, she is high as a kite doing lines of gypsy dust with VP Duncan Crowe. For those who don't know, gypsy dust is made from Gold bought with real life money as it is far more potent than the Gold obtained through medals and such. Oblige "The Whale" Escobar is the main supplier of this gypsy Gold. The common man is forced to melt medal Gold down into rocks and smoke it for their fix.

8:31 PM: "Baby want a snort?", she says. I know I shouldn't go down this road, I had been trying to quit going to Gypsy Dust Anonymous and placing my faith in a higher power (Dio Brando). The call was too strong though, I took my snort, and got lifted.

8:32 PM- Sunrise: The rest of the night my memory gets a little bit hazy. The last thing that I remember we were playing this game called "Ice Cream Sunday" that Artela likes to play on Saturday night when the clock strikes midnight. I'll let you guess where the cream, nuts, and cherries come from in that little game.



I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream

Stay thirsty my friends,

Gulden Draak