Hail eSouth Sudan

Day 1,479, 20:23 • Published in USA USA • by Gnilraps

Fionia's Contest Entry
Day 1,479 of the New World
8 December 2011

Hail eSouth Sudan!


Earlier this year, in that other thing called Real Life in that other world called Earth, a new nation was born called South Sudan.


...and there was much rejoicing.

I have just received word that Fionia has granted me sovereignty over eSouth Sudan (eSS?) and has asked my strategy for developing it into a great contributor to the New World.

Of course my plans are entirely secret, but Fionia has assured me that she will not tell anyone and is just sort of curious. So I decided to fill her in on the plan.



First of all, I need a new Avatar. Barely anyone in the United States cares about Tom Waits, so I am already kind of pushing it. In eSS? Tom Waits? No. So my new avatar will look like this:


Gnilraps



Of course I will need to form a Military Unit, so I will immediately declare the formation of the Military of eSouth Sudan. We will have cool uniforms:


Don't mess with MeSS



Also, I'll be a 7 star General.


...which is one more than anyone else I know.



But I can't expect us to be very strong, so I plan to spend 50 Gold and purchase the Serbian Bot Script so I can win lots of minibattles.

.......................................................
...the MeSS 1st Regiment



But my political strategy is what will really make this thing work. I plan to send 110 Gold worth of tanks per month to Poland so that I can be a member of ONE in good standing. They told me that if I joined ONE I would be honored as an equal partner. (Actually, they told me they'd get right back to me with their reply after receiving my first pile of tanks and I've been waiting a few weeks to hear their final decision. Meanwhile they said we could be an "Affiliated Non Member" which is great because I KNOW that they will treat the fine Citizens of eSS with the same respect that they show eIndia, eMexico, and eTurkey. They told me that those countries are THRILLED to be affiliated non-members of ONE.) I can't wait.


...we ❤ ONE



Plato only gave us one territory, and it is a Rubber Region. This puts us in a bit of a bind economically. So the official eSS Economic Policy is to start submitting lots and lots of tickets to Plato asking him to make eSS the first multi-resource territory in the game. We will start by asking him to add Fruits, and then after we have Rubber and Fruits we will be submitting lots and lots of tickets asking for Saltpeter. We will also be inviting all eSS Citizens to similarly submit lots and lots of tickets. We are calling it the Submitting Tickets Rescues eSS Program, or STReSS for short.





Also, as soon as the "few technical issues" are worked out at the eRepublik Forum, we plan to have a lot of activity there begging Plato for more resources. We call this our "Plato's Excellent eRepublik Nation - eSouth Sudan", or PEeNeSS.
We figure this is a winning plan.



You may wonder about our Media plans.



Actually, we have a great idea. We found THIS.

Nobody was using it, so we are going to just start stealing all his stuff until we get a few MM medals. You can go ahead and PM him if you want and rat us out. He doesn't answer his messages anyway.



So that's that. I hope you will come and join us. Our first recruit to eSS is going to be Anish9500. Contact him if you want Citizenship to eSS. You won't be disappoint. He's started the "Get Up eSouth Sudan" (or GUeSS) citizenship promotion. He's an immigration lawyer and I don't quite understand all the details, but he told me just to send him 10G every day and he would take care of the rest. Love that guy.



16 Shells endorses:
The Book of Jude the undead hippie.
Voice of America
Non-dip-shit kooguys' kooguy's fire
Chae Dee Business
Meet the Press
Department of Defense Orders
The WHPR
eNPR
The Treasure Map
Allied War Report
and getting your butt into a military unit.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled clicking