eAustralian news - August in review (another Greek tragedy?)

Day 2,841, 19:14 • Published in Australia Canada • by Ilene Dover


Even after getting so much hate mail for reporting on the European peace conference I will not be dissuaded from reporting the news as it is.

Today I bring you a roundup of the happenings in August, from here in eAustralia.





Like a fish out of water, JackTrout has decided being the Big Dic is not for him. I quote:

JackTrout: “I’m moving house soon. There’s no internet at my new house, so I won’t be able to run for CP.”
Ilene Dover: “Aren’t we 15 years into the 21st century? There’s internet in Ulaanbaatar for crying out loud!”
JackTrout: “That’s my story. And I’m sticking to it. Bitches.”




Prominent eAustralian and Presidential candidate Kattrina took a trip to the local fairground. In the hall of mirrors, we were all surprised at how many versions of her were looking back at us.




Perennial Country President and Serbian citizen Rusty D went for a motorbike ride with his GoPro camera running. The resulting footage:

https://youtu.be/RjRIdMEXBfk

During the ride, he also lost his pen. In classic Rusty style, he is offering a $10,000 reward for a $5,000 pen. Payable in Dong




As a true macho Spanish-Australian hybrid and CP-elect of SpectroNegro Mac Vasco has ran a marathon.


We here at The Maiden’s Peach think the training and kicking of a certain filthy habit certainly payed off.


Local troll investigative reporterJ Seemore was heard to ask after the event:

“How does it feel to be leader of the free world and the greatest man ever born?

Mac’s response was not heard amid the sound of vomiting from nearby spectators.





Renowned Lothario and commander of the ChickenHawks MU Henry the 8th was photographed with his outrageously long hair.


J Seemore was again on hand to investigate the moment:


J Seemore: “Henry, do you realise playing with your hair like that makes people think you are a girl?
Henry: “No, I don’t think that at all.
J Seemore: “Do you sit down to pee as well?




And that, ladies and gentleman, is just the month of August in review.