Beauty is our Duty!

Day 1,810, 11:00 • Published in USA USA • by BritSeelowe

Today, I received the following message attached to a pumice stone from the foxhole next to mine.

BritSee,

What is up with going to war with Indonesia prior to the holiday season? I've fragged every manicurist at the Triple A+ Nail Salon! Who knew that Indonesian's ran the place? I caught up with a new recruit in the battle-bunker and offered to show him the ropes in exchange for help with my nails, but this was the result.

What do I do now? I can't shoot with these!

Signe😛 Betty with Nails Done by Eddie



Dear Betty,

Wow! Those are really practical if you are accepted in to lock-picking school, but you are correct in that the war with Indonesia presents a problem for EZ Women. Even South Korea and Thailand supports Indonesia, which means we need to either pay full price for substandard nail care or do them ourselves.

Let's be honest: Nothing looks better curved around a trigger than finely lacquered nails. In earlier times, EZ Women wore gloves, but how can one feel the cool metal pressing lovingly into the trigger finger if gloves are worn? EZ Women, this war is necessary, but beauty is our duty. We need to put on our big girl panties and do nails ourselves.

Although, I am rarely into brand loyalty, I personally recommend Insta-dri nail polish. It takes approximately four minutes for me to paint my nails. Then it takes another full minute to dry. This means that I have something productive to do while waiting five minutes to regain more energy to blast away another manicurist...er....Indonesian or one of their supporters.

I'm wearing an Insta-dri color called Slick Slate at the moment. It looks good on with my camouflage, does not clash with the mud walls of the foxhole, is sweet against the metal of a trigger, and yet can blend nicely with any color when I get a few hours of leave. Plus, I was able to paint them in the time it took me to complete my daily orders.

I'm returning your pumice stone with this poster. Place it inside your helmet! It will help you stay strong in these trying times. Plus, it can protect your mirror, if you keep it there. I'd suggest getting your holiday colors now as this war could linger.

~BritSee