Alien Invasion Spoils Spanish American War

Day 1,365, 09:00 • Published in USA USA • by Gnilraps


Department of Tartment
Day 1,365 of the New World
16 August 2011

United States Armed Forces - Special Forces
Alpha Company 1st Platoon
Prestige Worldwide
LT Gnilraps, reporting.
During a critical 9th Mini-Battle in the War against Spain for Tennessee, some mysterious force attacked the Citizens of the New World, preventing them from fighting. It is believed to have been an Alien Force, perhaps from the planet Platron.

Artist’s rendition of Platronic Spaceship.

Spain was up 5 – 3 meaning the 9th mini would determine a 6-3 lead for Spain, or a 5-4 turning of the tide for eUSA. The timing of the Platronic Invasion could not have been worse.
As a Journalist/Soldier, I did some immediate investigative work.

8 soldiers were standing-by in the USAF Special Forces Command Center. They were unable to issue 1,456,065 influence in a battle that Spain would eventually win. Here is a detailed list of the Soldiers who were waiting, the number of Food Fights they had to spend, and the amount of damage per Q5 hit. (These figures are pre-NE bonus)

epix had 85 fights available (75 +10) at 4877/Q5 = 414,545
Smack Dat had 76 hits available at 4627/Q5 = 351,652
Joe DaSmoe had 43 hits available at 3099/Q5 = 133,257
enderaggie had 50 hits available at 2615/Q5 = 130,750
myBad had 33 hits available at 3343/Q5 = 110,319
Luuklag had 47 hits available at 1916/Q5 = 90,052
mhofman5 had 26 hits available at 3231/Q5 = 84,006
Gnilraps had 34 hits available at 2122/Q5 = 72,148

Special Forces was unable to bring 1,386,729 raw damage plus 5% multiplier for NE bonus totallng 1,456,065 influence that the Platronic Aliens successfully blocked with their interplanetary force field which observers in Nashville said resembled a “Cave”. (Any connection with a certain Philosophical Cave is purely incidental surely.)
I then polled my ingame friends asking for a straw poll of Alien-blocked battle influence.

ct_gabriel was successfully blocked from using 251,775 influence
Clemens65 was numbed by Aliens and prevented from spending 206,220 influence
Aaron S succumbed to the aliens leaving 85,550 influence unused.
Raezen was Platronically neutralized from dealing 50,674 influence.
Silence Deathstalker was muted and left 49,104 influence unspent.

Morrigan Alexandros and Tiamati.Magick also reported feeling the strange pressure from the Platronic Invaders and were unable to deal their damage, although reports of the exact totals from them were lost in translation. One observer claims to have seen Alien Platronic Spies intercept the information before it could reach the 16 Shells receptionist who gathered the data.

So an additional 643,323 plus the 5%NE bonus totaling 675,489 known influence was successfully blocked by the Platrons.
In total, 16 Shells is reporting that 2,131,554 damage can be confirmed as having been prevented from being brought to bear in a very significant battle.
No numbers have been collected from the Spanish forces who it is believed also were at least partly blocked by Alien Invasion.

All over the New World, Citizens are gazing helplessly to the skies, hoping that the dangerous Platronic Forces will not rob them of too much potential damage as Health Counters continue to dial forward despite the Battle Freeze.

Observers stand outside the Capitial building in Nashville wondering.
It is believed the following image has been intercepted by New World Intelligence detailing the technology that planet Platro is using to block battle damage.


No detail, however, was intercepted explaining why any particular mini-battle scenario may have been blocked in deference to any other.

It should be noted, however, that mini-battle #9 in the Spanish-American war over Tennessee took place during a time during which many Citizens of eUSA are logging in to drop their first batch of damage for the day.
Rumors that the Platronic Invaders have a vested interest in ONE and/or Spain are unconfirmed.
16 Shells is in possession of a list of Citizens who have "submitted" “Tickets” about these bizzare Alien invaders.

“Tickets” are alleged to be a means of communicating with life beyond this planetary dimension and occasionally result in a Close Encounter of the 3rd Kind.

Aliens occasionally refer to themselves as "Admiens".
If you are interested in joining the elite fighting force against ONE,
CLICK HERE FOR APPLICATION, It will be handled quickly and promptly.
16 Shells endorses:
The National Broadcast System
Department of Defense Orders
The WHPR
The Congressional Record in the Flaming Press.
Halls of Montezuma
You may now return to your regularly scheduled clicking

LT Gnilraps, USAF Special Forces Alpha Company 1st Platoon.