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It seemed like an average Sunday morning when Balkan woke up to a chorus of bangs at his apartment door. Begrudgingly he got out of bed to answer it, upon opening the door he saw it was Vreath. He cracked a toothless grin at Balkan as he opened the door as he handed Balkan his last welfare check. Immediately after he sai😛 "Well hello Balkan, fine morning isn't it?"
Balkan replied sharply, yes it is indeed but it is unusual for you to come by. We're in the digital age after all, there's no need for the face to face meeting.
Vreath shook his head twice and smiled. Clearly he was enjoying whatever it was he was about to say. "Yes well, after two years of being a deadweight loser it's time for you to get a job. Balkan you have to live, you can't stay in here all day and night. You have to be productive, otherwise you will be out on the street."
Balkan whined at the realization that he would have to do awkward social appearances with a job, subsequently pleading with Vreath. "Come on! I like this lifestyle, I'm bernd! I stay home all day and watch animu! And I lurk on /int/ like I'm hunting antelope! Don't take this away from me, besides I preach too!"
Vreath was a tad annoyed at the excuses for Balkan's laziness, quickly changing his tone to fit his mood. "Listen here, you haven't done any work for our glorious faith Dioism in two years nearly nor even worked on the people's revolution. You did many things before this yes, but now? You have taken up the habits of the common gypsy! I seen you out there with them! Fondling their goats like the depraved slut bear you are.

Dismayed at the accusations Balkan revealed a shock expression but he held his tongue. He just was so out of tune with arguing he forgot how to do it right. After releasing a sigh he simply nodded his head in agreement. "Alright I guess I have no choice." "No you do not Balkan, lets go."


They went to a quiet building in Salzburg that was part of a community center, and upon entering the duo were greeted by a shadowy figure. He remained in the dark his only noticable features being a pearly white set of teeth. Balkan recognized the scent coming from them and the texture, it was semen. The man had a permanent layer of semen on his very teeth! While he was highly inquisitive about the man's identity he kept his suspicions to himself and listened.


The figure spoke in a authoritative tone and recited a rather standard speech. "I know a lot about you Balkan, you're a bad bad bear. But despite that, Vreath here says you have many uses and I believe I have a job just fit for you." Balkan mumbled to himself: "Great... I'll be working at Mcdonalds making cheezburgas for cats." The man continued to speak not noticing the remark, "Your work is of the utmost importance and must be kept a secret. No one knows we exist and we plan to keep it that way. We are the Lower Osterreich Legion in tackling all Sex-offenders. Or, LOLITAS for short. We're a branch of the Bundespolizei that specifically works at foiling sexual deviants from hurting the Austrian youth. We need an IT expert like you or in laymens terms, some faggot that lurks real well. You look like you could fit the part and I'd like you to start immediately. Your desk is over there, if you have any questions Vreath will answer them.

We're counting on you Balkan, this will be a hard job. You'll have to comb through a whole archive of CP, and even add onto it to capture these criminals. You'll have to act like you're a depraved individual anonymously and at the same time keep your activities secret. No one can know what you do or what we do. If anyone asks, you're still living on welfare. You got it? Good. You'll start in a week. " The pair departed to have a chat with eachother, leaving Balkan to his lonesome. He went back home to tell all his buddies on KC about his knew job! But they didn't believe him.



So he went back to sleep at exactly 11AM wasting away a whole day. The days of being bernd were over.