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English translation 😃


Future by Vikilks!


Client: "Hello! I'd like to order some grub."
Operator: "Can I first get your personal identification number (TIN, PIN ... or how but where used), sir?"
Client: "My personal number ...... oh yes, wait a bit, eh! My ID number is 0512968910753!
Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Mark. I see that you live in the street poplar no. 13 and your telephone number is 2332-971. Your number is 2301-243 at work and your mobile number is 064/221- ... With any number of your name, sir? "
Client: "Huh? At home alone. From where you just all that information?"
Operator: "Well sir, we networked."
Client: (surprised) "Oh ....... yes, I would like to order two large sausage pizza and the extra hot ..."
Operator: "I think you have been a good idea, sir."
Client: "What do you mean?"
Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you have high blood pressure and very high cholesterol. Privacy supplementary health insurance does not cover and that risk ..."
Client: "So what do you recommend?"
Operator: "We could try our non-fat soy pizza, which of course is of soybeans. I'm sure you'll like it."
Client: "Why do you think?"
Operator: "Well, last week you have a library and built a book" Gourmet meals from soybeans. "So I suggested to you."
Client: "Okay, okay. I'd like you two maxi-soy pizza. And how much does it cost?"
Operator: "It should not be much for you, your wife and four children. All together, along with the cost of shipping the 1500 DIN"
Client: "Here's the number you my credit card number ..."
Operator: "Excuse me, sir, but I'm afraid I'll have to pay in cash. You have exceeded the allowed amount of the credit card."
Client: "Skočić to an ATM and take the cash before your delivery arrives."
Operator: "Not even to go, sir! You have exceeded the current account."
Client: "Never mind. Just send a pizza. Spremić money. What you need to deliver?"
Operator: "We are a little overwhelmed at this point. About 45 minutes. Sir, if you hurry you can get to us, but you will be inconvenient to drive pizzas on a motorcycle."
Client: "How do you know how to drive a motorcycle?"
Operator: "It is to be late with a repayment loan for a car, so we stripped it to the bank. But your scooter is fully repaid, so I just assumed that you will drive it."
Client: "@#%/$@&?#!"
Operator: "I would recommend you to watch what you say, sir! You already have the two misdemeanor charges of disorderly conduct and peace at the rally 2002nd and shouting at the cop 2008."
Client: (no words)
Operator: "Do you want anything else, sir?"
Client: "No, nothing more. But do not forget the two free Coca Cola - written in your ad!"
Operator: "Excuse me, sir, but our ad had a clause that we can not offer a free Coca-Cola diabetics!"


Greetings to the harsh future!

Srpska verzija



Buducnost po Vikiliksu!


Mušterija: "Dobar dan! Htio bih da naručim klopu."
Operator: "Mogu li prvo dobiti Vaš JMBG ( OIB, LIB...ili kako ga već gdje koriste ) gospodine?"
Mušterija: "Moj JMBG...... ah da, pričekajte malo, eh! Moj JMBG je 0512968910753!"
Operater: "Hvala Vam, gospodine Marko. Vidim da živite u Ulici jablana br. 13 i Vaš telefonski broj je 2332-971. Vaš broj na poslu je 2301-243 i Vaš broj mobilnog je 064/221-... S kojeg broja zovete gospodine?"
Mušterija: "Huh? Kod kuće sam. Od kuda Vam samo sve te informacije?"
Operator: "Pa umreženi smo gospodine."
Mušterija: (začuđeno) "Oh.......da, htio bih da naručim dvije velike kulen pizze i to extra ljute..."
Operater: "Mislim da Vam to nije dobra ideja, gospodine."
Mušterija: "Kako to mislite?"
Operater: "Gospodine, Vaši zdravstveni podaci upućuju na to da imate visok krvni pritisak i veoma visok holesterol. Polisa dopunskog zdravstvenog osiguranja ne pokriva i taj rizik..."
Mušterija: "Pa šta onda preporučujete?"
Operater: "Mogli bi da probate našu bezmasnu soja-pizzu , koja je naravno od soje. Siguran sam da će Vam se svidjeti."
Mušterija: "Zašto to mislite?"
Operater: "Pa, prošle nedjelje ste u biblioteci i podigli knjigu "Gurmanska jela od soje". Zato sam Vam to predložio."
Mušterija: "U redu, u redu. Dajte mi onda dvije maxi soja-pizze. I koliko to košta?"
Operater: "To bi trebalo biti puno za Vas, Vašu ženu i četvoro dece. Sve skupa, zajedno sa troskovima dostave je 1500 DIN"
Mušterija: "Evo broj Vam broj moje kreditne kartice..."
Operater: "Oprostite, gospodine, ali bojim se da ćete to morati platiti u gotovini. Prekoračili ste dopušteni iznos po kreditnim karticama."
Mušterija: "Skočiću do bankomata i uzeti keš prije nego vaš dostavljač stigne."
Operater: "Neće ni to ići, gospodine! Imate prekoračenje i na tekućem računu."
Mušterija: "Nema veze. Samo pošaljite pizze. Spremiću novac. Koliko Vam treba za dostavu?"
Operater: "Malo smo zatrpani u ovom trenutku. Oko 45 minuta. Gospodine, ako Vam se žuri možete doći do nas, ali biće Vam nezgodno voziti pizze na motociklu."
Mušterija: "Kako znate da vozim motocikl?"
Operater: "Ovdje stoji da kasnite s otplatom kredita za auto, pa Vam ga je banka oduzela. Ali Vas skuter je u potpunosti otplaćen, pa sam samo pretpostavio da ćete voziti njega."
Mušterija: "@#%/$@&?#!"
Operater: "Preporučio bih Vam da pazite što govorite, gospodine! Već imate dvije prekršajne prijave zbog remećenja javnog reda i mira na mitingu 2002. i vikanja na policajca 2008."
Mušterija: (bez riječi)
Operater: "Želite li još nešto, gospodine?"
Mušterija: "Ne, ništa više. Ali, nemojte zaboraviti dve gratis Coca Cole - piše u Vašem oglasu!"
Operater: "Oprostite, gospodine, ali naš oglas je imao klauzulu da ne smijemo nuditi besplatnu Coca-Colu dijabetičarima!"


Pozdrav do surove budućnosti !!!
Sry for bad translate but you will get the picture
Eto mejl koji sam dobio malo pre pa reko da podelim sa vama da se smejete malo 😃 pozdrav