France Attacks New Jersey! Breaking News!

Day 2,431, 06:15 • Published in USA USA • by Logan Hyrozek

As much as we're thankful that there's a near-guaranteed chance of the cast of Jersey Shore getting killed by the French, we must ask ourselves on what this means for the rest of us decent Americans. As high as tensions were back when France was declared the natural enemy of the United States, this is simply unacceptable.

Hopefully it won't be long before the French are pushed out of New Jersey. However, in the case that they're victorious, then we might have an issue. If France gets their grip in the east coast, they might attempt spreading. Thus, we'd have a chunk of America not belonging to Americans. You can tell that thought does not sound pleasant.

France's invasion of our home was brought for no good reason. Whatever insanity Paris is enduring is beyond me. But we all need to stay strong, and push these imperialists off our doorsteps. American ingenuity is, luckily, immortal.

In other news, "America, by The People" has gotten permission to interview one of the more famous citizens of eUSA. His name is Ronald Gipper Reagan, former presidential candidate and active citizen. It may take some time before the interview can be published, but I can already guarantee that you will certainly think twice about our nation. Here's the link to his citizen page:

http://www.erepublik.com/en/citizen/profile/6162038