[WHPR] War and Bewbs. What Else do you Need, America?

Day 1,413, 16:05 • Published in USA USA • by James S. Brady Press Room


Good evening America,

By now, you should all know that we have not achieved total victory in Spain. The battle for Asturias was lost long before the final mini ended. Thanks to heavy tanking from ONE while we slept, the deficit was simply too much to overcome when we awoke. Regardless, the United States of America proudly thanks her allies for their unwavering, and continued support of the campaign in Spain. And offers a salute (o7) to all of the soldiers, professional and private alike, that fought for the cause in Spain.
However. The war in Spain was only one part of the Auctoritas Administration’s goals for the nation. There are allies that need us. And of course, there are always other countries that may soon feel the wrath of America’s armies. But for now, the weeping children of Spain may rest easy. The United States has bigger, and better priorities.

A young Double Spaniard, weeping at the fall of Madrid.




Indomestic news, the always lovely jeserygirldani, has run into a bit of a problem. You see, she has too much food, and not enough bewbs. That’s right, BEWBS 4 NEWBS has a SURPLUS!!! What does this mean for you? Well it means that there is some free food waiting for you on America’s National Forums, all you have to do is post a picture of bewbs (no nudity, obvi). And to make the deal even better, everyday there is a winner, and that person gets free guns, and extra food!
Don’t know what to post? Unsure if you’re up to the challenge? Well, let me show you some of the past winners, picked by jerseygirl herself:

From silisius:


From Shmuliq:


From silisius (Again! My god, this kid’s a champ!):


As you can see, America. This is a very simple concept, all eligible Americans should be participating!



And just in case you missed it, The Pony Express is BACK! And better than ever! America’s resident hippie, Jude Connors is running this most recent iteration of the famed Pony Express.
For those of you unaware as to what the Pony Express is all about, the idea is a simple one. It provides a list of the best current articles in the American media. Any sort of article can qualify. Whether it is a humor piece, or an update on the war, or new player help guides. There is no restrictions on being listed in The Pony Express. This provides new writers with much needed publicity, and hopefully encourages them to continue writing at a high level.
Make sure you check out next Pony Express!



Are you still not in a Military Unit or Militia? Then you’re doing it wrong
US Armed Forces
Seal Team 6
Easy Company


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Israel Stevens
Deputy White House Press Secretary