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VILLAGER #1: We have found a witch. May we burn her?

CROW😨 Burn her! Burn! Burn her! Burn her!

BEDEVERE: How do you know she is a witch?

VILLAGER #2: She looks like one.

CROW😨 Right! Yeah! Yeah!

BEDEVERE: Bring her forward.

WITCH: I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch.

BEDEVERE: Uh, but you are dressed as one.

WITCH: They dressed me up like this.

CROW😨 Augh, we didn't! We didn't...

WITCH: And this isn't my nose. It's a false one.

BEDEVERE: Well?

VILLAGER #1: Well, we did do the nose.

BEDEVERE: The nose?

VILLAGER #1: And the hat, but she is a witch!

VILLAGER #2: Yeah!

CROW😨 We burn her! Right! Yeaaah! Yeaah!

BEDEVERE: Did you dress her up like this?

VILLAGER #1: No!

VILLAGER #2 and 3: No. No.

VILLAGER #2: No.

VILLAGER #1: No.

VILLAGERS #2 and #3: No.

VILLAGER #1: Yes.

VILLAGER #2: Yes.

VILLAGER #1: Yes. Yeah, a bit.

VILLAGER #3: A bit.

VILLAGERS #1 and #2: A bit.

VILLAGER #3: A bit.

VILLAGER #1: She has got a wart.

RANDOM: [cough]

BEDEVERE: What makes you think she is a witch?

VILLAGER #3: Well, she turned me into a newt.

BEDEVERE: A newt?

VILLAGER #3: I got better.

VILLAGER #2: Burn her anyway!

VILLAGER #1: Burn!

CROW😨 Burn her! Burn! Burn her!...

BEDEVERE: Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.

VILLAGER #1: Are there?

VILLAGER #2: Ah?

VILLAGER #1: What are they?

CROW😨 Tell us! Tell us!...

VILLAGER #2: Do they hurt?

BEDEVERE: Tell me. What do you do with witches?

VILLAGER #2: Burn!

VILLAGER #1: Burn!

CROW😨 Burn! Burn them up! Burn!...

BEDEVERE: And what do you burn apart from witches?

VILLAGER #1: More witches!

VILLAGER #3: Shh!

VILLAGER #2: Wood!

BEDEVERE: So, why do witches burn?

[pause]

VILLAGER #3: B--... 'cause they're made of... wood?

BEDEVERE: Good! Heh heh.

CROW😨 Oh, yeah. Oh.

BEDEVERE: So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?

VILLAGER #1: Build a bridge out of her.

BEDEVERE: Ah, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?

VILLAGER #1: Oh, yeah.

RANDOM: Oh, yeah. True. Uhh...

BEDEVERE: Does wood sink in water?

VILLAGER #1: No. No.

VILLAGER #2: No, it floats! It floats!

VILLAGER #1: Throw her into the pond!

CROW😨 The pond! Throw her into the pond!

BEDEVERE: What also floats in water?

VILLAGER #1: Bread!

VILLAGER #2: Apples!

VILLAGER #3: Uh, very small rocks!

VILLAGER #1: Cider!

VILLAGER #2: Uh, gra-- gravy!

VILLAGER #1: Cherries!

VILLAGER #2: Mud!

VILLAGER #3: Uh, churches! Churches!

VILLAGER #2: Lead! Lead!

ARTHUR: A duck!

CROW😨 Oooh.

BEDEVERE: Exactly. So, logically...

VILLAGER #1: If... she... weighs... the same as a duck,... she's made of wood.

BEDEVERE: And therefore?

VILLAGER #2: A witch!

VILLAGER #1: A witch!

CROW😨 A witch! A witch!...

VILLAGER #4: Here is a duck. Use this duck.

[quack quack quack]

BEDEVERE: Very good. We shall use my largest scales.

CROW😨 Ohh! Ohh! Burn the witch! Burn the witch! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Ahh! Ahh...

BEDEVERE: Right. Remove the supports!

[whop]

[clunk]

[creak]

CROW😨 A witch! A witch! A witch!

WITCH: It's a fair cop.

VILLAGER #3: Burn her!

CROW😨 Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn! Burn!...

BEDEVERE: Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?

ARTHUR: I am Arthur, King of the Britons.

BEDEVERE: My liege!

ARTHUR: Good Sir Knight, will you come with me to Camelot and join us at the Round Table?

BEDEVERE: My liege! I would be honored.

ARTHUR: What is your name?

BEDEVERE: 'Bedevere', my liege.

ARTHUR: Then I dub you 'Sir Bedemere, Knight of the Round Table'.