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Issue #85



Our early years are dictated by our instincts. In our later years; we become, increasingly, systematic.
It's in those early years which we will shape our destinies.
-Nikola Tesla-


I've written about my personal wars, but right now; I could give a s#!t about them. I know that I'm a washed-up, butt-hurt, politician and that's all that I'll ever be.
My sight is clear and my pride is novel. The clothes and the job do not make the man. A man stands his ground.
eLife is a rollercoaster. If you haven't got that feeling, in your gut; you are doing it wrong.

Our enemy is very cunning and it wears many faces. There are those which will tell you that this is not the truth.
May their eSons hear my words. May their eDaughters service me.

On that note:





*Commercial Starts Playing*
Are you an @$$hole? Does the majority of your day consist of; being an @$$hole?
Well, stop that shit. (This message is brought to you by the coalition against @$$holes.)



*Dick*
Hello! I'm political analyst, Richard Cranium.


*Linda*
I'm Linda Vanderbooben, with your warfare analysis.


*Dick*
The Presidential Candidates are subject to change. If anyone feels unfairly represented; GoTJ can interview you and clarify your views, for the Loose Cannon Readers.

*Dick*
So far; only two candidates have, publically, declared their intentions. Unless another candidate asks for an endorsement; I'll focus on Tyler Bubblar and Beach Bunny.

*Dick*
Currently, the candidates for PotUS are; Tyler Bubblar, Avruch, Cubby, BeachBunny and Captain Black Sheep.

*Dick*
I don't believe their are fundamental differences between TB and BB. Both have the eUS's, interests at heart.
Tyler Bublar is a former PotUS. So far; T.B's cabinet is clean. After fighting against the installation of an eUS dictator; he wrote an article in which he announced that he had quit. Federalists were able to rekindle his passion and TB has gone 360.

*Dick*
BB is an up and comer and former First Lady. She comes with a variety of references and her activity has, steadily, risen; since I have been acquainted. She has made a lot of friends; through open discussions. She voted, "No," when our meta-players conspired to set up a puppet dictator.

*Dick*
My bias swings toward Beach Bunny.
I think she is best for our diplomacy, she could boost eUS morale and she is aesthetically, pleasing. And no; I'm not getting a cabinet position.
Both candidates have good cabinets, but they aren't worth much, if their dictator doesn't inspire their cabinet.

*Dick*
I encourage you to vote for whomever your heart compels you, but ask your heart; "Where am I going?"

*Dick*
Over to you; Linda.


*Linda*
To say that it began as an airstrike on eMacedonia, would be overlooking 99% of the regions history. Yet, this is precisely what I intend to do.

*Linda*
22 days ago, eUS troops were dropped into eMacedonia on a Peace-Keeping mission.
The fighting did not become epic, but it was enough to keep me logged on.
eUS has, since, withdrawn it's troops, but the struggle continues for our allies.

*Linda*
eGreece is fighting resistance wars against eMacedonia, eSlovenia is still engaged with eAustria and who knows what the heck eLatvia or eEstonia are doing.


*Dick*
Well, that's it Folks; I'm outta here.


*Linda*
Good night, Everyone.





DEMOCRACY!




Fourth of July Celebration:

We will get a fighter escort, but 20% 0f us will be killed by anti-aircraft fire.
When we reach the capital; 10% of us will be shot, before we hit the ground, or have parachutes that didn't open.
Another 5% will be killed by artillery and mines.
2% will be captured and reeducated.
1.5% will be killed by small arms and hand to hand combat.
The other 61.5% of you will begin the liberation.

The revolution still needs money. Please send anything you can spare to GoTJ. The money will not be used for another cause. If GoTJ can't reach the goal; the money will be refunded.
We are only doing our part for entropy. Don't fake your life. Take a friend of Wisdom's hand.








(Reprint from the last Loose Cannon)



I'm in inviting you to a 4th of July Celebration. Let's celebrate by overthrowing our Reptilian Overlord.
I won't call it a Civil War. We love war, so logically, it can't be one of those.

It's a sad state of affairs.
You might call it the lament of an old fart, but I remember when the eUS represented a model, for democracy. There are many that still see it that way.

I know those people aren't dead. The fortitude is strong with my clique. So, what's really going on?

From my adolescence; I realized that it was essential to defend myself against my own siblings. I like to be friends with everyone, but a closed mouth doesn't get fed.

We are hard as a rock and shut like a lock. Politics is a dirty word and I'm a, very, naughty boy.



I know that you've heard my opinion; like a broken record and the gall of our overlords must speak for itself.

Yet, despite their impudence; we show compassion.
Despite their efforts to defame us; we have pretended to be part or their corporation.

There are ample tedious and mind numbing distractions. I'm getting job offers today, but tomorrow; I'd be broke and in the gutter.
I'm not going to be part of the façade.

I'm not holding all the cards. Some say that I'm not dealing with a full deck.
I can't promise that everyone will be sitting pretty. I'm not looking for anything in return. Trekker will still be president. I just want to take my head out of the sand and let everyone hear a warrior's call.

Let those from without the confinement of the forum, go forward. Let those from within the forum, heed my words: Bick by brick; we will tear down your establishment. We will excavate your social stratification. We will lay our rock at the foundations of your institutions. It's too late for some.


P.S.
We will need the following:
We need an MU with testicular fortitude, we need 200,000 treasury notes and Fate.
Maybe, the naysayers are right; Maybe, they are destined act like cattle.
Not I. I'll ride the cattle until the cows come home. Yee Haw!








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