We Are Not Safe
Dan 1,509, 09:34
•
od
Sir Gulden Draak
I thought I was safe, but safe I was not. It had been over 24 hours since the election ended, and while I knew President Oblige wanted his 77% of the vote or whatever, I thought things were cool. Since I am poor and own no house, I went to sleep in the hay loft of one of my grain farms last evening. Suddenly at around 3 A.M., I was awakened by five strangers standing over me. At first I did not recognize them, but after my eyes adjusted I recognized them as none other than Oblige’s lackeys Evry, Israel Stevens, kooguy, Jude Connors, and Serendipitous. I was startled and scared, I began to wet myself. I asked them what they wanted, my voice trembling Israel laughed at me and said that they were from Mentors and that I was summoned to meet Oblige. OF COURSE, it all made sense now, Mentors wasn’t a eUS program for mentoring young players, it was a secret police used by Oblige to crush dissent amongst the general public, not unlike every other dictatorship known to man.
Beware of the secret police
They led me out of my farm, put me in a Q6 tank, and off we went. I began to settle down, perhaps Oblige just wanted to meet with me to tell me how awesome I am. We arrived at Oblige’s Q5 home paid with your tax dollars, and once we were inside it was clear he intended to do me harm. In the living room there was a boiling pit of lava, and several of my supporters including Glove and PiZ were trapped in cages above the pit. In his best Chris Hanson voice Oblige said, “Why don’t you get in a cage Gulden”. I had no choice, so in a cage I went.
Oblige about to throw me in a lava pit
He then began to lecture me, “You just couldn’t let me have it could you Gulden? The 77% the the love of my people, and the ability to accomplish my master plan.” “Master Plan?”, I said “What on earth are you talking about?”. (Oblige lets out evil villain laugh) “My plan Gulden, is too sell the entire nation to Serbia for the price of 10,000G and I want to watch the eUSA burn down.” “NOOOOOOOOO! Oblige how could you? We trusted you”, I exclaimed. He began to talk about how he was a ONE operative all along, and how he was so close to accomplishing his plan. I was moments away from death, I could feel it. However, before he dropped my cage in the lava he said, “Mentors! To the bedroom! We have business to accomplish” From that point on, all I could here were loud thumping sounds and strange noises. Being raised in a Bible school I didn’t really know what was going on.
While they were in the bedroom, I remembered that I kept a knife in my pocket in a case a woman attacked me during the night to have her way with me. Using my Macgyver skills, I was able to break out of my cage and then like a flying squirrel I went from cage to cage freeing all my supporters. We all then escaped through the kitchen door, and off into the night we went. But for how long will we be safe? The Oblige regime has obviously kept tabs on my supporters. When will be you be captured by Mentors? My supporters you are not safe.Oblige and his lackeys will stop at nothing to hurt you and bring down America. Stay alert my friends, join me in #thelair on IRC we will be safe there. If we are lucky we may just get out of this month alive.
Stay thirsty my friends,
Sir Gulden Draak
Beware of the secret police
They led me out of my farm, put me in a Q6 tank, and off we went. I began to settle down, perhaps Oblige just wanted to meet with me to tell me how awesome I am. We arrived at Oblige’s Q5 home paid with your tax dollars, and once we were inside it was clear he intended to do me harm. In the living room there was a boiling pit of lava, and several of my supporters including Glove and PiZ were trapped in cages above the pit. In his best Chris Hanson voice Oblige said, “Why don’t you get in a cage Gulden”. I had no choice, so in a cage I went.
Oblige about to throw me in a lava pit
He then began to lecture me, “You just couldn’t let me have it could you Gulden? The 77% the the love of my people, and the ability to accomplish my master plan.” “Master Plan?”, I said “What on earth are you talking about?”. (Oblige lets out evil villain laugh) “My plan Gulden, is too sell the entire nation to Serbia for the price of 10,000G and I want to watch the eUSA burn down.” “NOOOOOOOOO! Oblige how could you? We trusted you”, I exclaimed. He began to talk about how he was a ONE operative all along, and how he was so close to accomplishing his plan. I was moments away from death, I could feel it. However, before he dropped my cage in the lava he said, “Mentors! To the bedroom! We have business to accomplish” From that point on, all I could here were loud thumping sounds and strange noises. Being raised in a Bible school I didn’t really know what was going on.
While they were in the bedroom, I remembered that I kept a knife in my pocket in a case a woman attacked me during the night to have her way with me. Using my Macgyver skills, I was able to break out of my cage and then like a flying squirrel I went from cage to cage freeing all my supporters. We all then escaped through the kitchen door, and off into the night we went. But for how long will we be safe? The Oblige regime has obviously kept tabs on my supporters. When will be you be captured by Mentors? My supporters you are not safe.Oblige and his lackeys will stop at nothing to hurt you and bring down America. Stay alert my friends, join me in #thelair on IRC we will be safe there. If we are lucky we may just get out of this month alive.
Stay thirsty my friends,
Sir Gulden Draak
Komentari
Što je ovo?
Čitaš članak koji je napisao građanin eRepublika, virtualne strateške igre za više igrača koja se temelji na stvarnim državama. Kreiraj svoj vlastiti lik i pomogni svojoj državi da stekne slavu, dok se ti dokazuješ u ulozi ratnog junaka, renomiranog izdavača ili financijskog stručnjaka.
Facebook
Twitter
You can not hide from Mentors.
We will find you.
WE MUST STOP THE OPPRESSION
~hyuu~
STOP THE OPPRESSION!
Emperor Oblige..... errr, I mean President Oblige and Living Room Pot of Lava w/PiZ in a go-go... uuumm, I mean prisoner cage, all signs point towards fun!
God-Emperor.
Please, a thousand pardons, your highness, God-Emperor.
jolly good fun
v
All Hail our God-Emperor Oblige
I was gonna catch you, but then I got high
Sure is Revolution in here.
voted cuz i laughed like hell @ flying squirrel
It all makes sense now.
You only smoke the good stuff, don't you?
bitch, please
Thanks, I will be wary of Mentos.
lol v+s
We've seen this bufoonery before. Who the gods destroy, they first make mad.
Bia Pandora, "voted cuz i laughed like hell @ flying squirrel"
^ I kept visualizing nuts. ~_o
Also, I don't know if I can switch my allegiance from God Emperor Jacobi to God Emperor Oblige, especially since God Emperor Jacobi appears to be alive, despite news to the contrary.
DUUUUUUUDE come back and help me escape!
And WTF ATHANARIC?
And the truth comes out! Right when i join the mentors!
I think Athanaric coming back from the dead to point out the similarities to the revolution of last year is ironic.
TRINITY is coming.
If you would like to join the mentors team apply here:
http://tinyurl.com/7d45xk7
As director of the mentors I assure you our evil plan is working.
O.O
I'm watching.
Did I write this?
my fav part:
"However, before he dropped my cage in the lava he said, “Mentors! To the bedroom! We have business to accomplish” From that point on, all I could here were loud thumping sounds and strange noises. Being raised in a Bible school I didn’t really know what was going on."
When you wet yourself was it frosty?
When will the Tyranny End?!?
Lol
~Natasha, "I do nots get... Eff comrade Gulden ess flyink squirrel where ess moose? Always we see moose and flyink squirrel togethers."
~Borris, "Dumbkoff, de moose is disguised as de PIG. Pay atenttions or fearless leader will find out and send us to Siberia!"
(I really hope you remember this or you will think I'm completely ate up.)
PIGDISGUSTING. THERE IS ONLY ONE GOD EMPEROR AND PUBLIUS IS HIS PROPHET.
Liquid Oxygen is 100% right, and Publius should execute this entire cabinet... praise Dio!!
we can just self declare? I wanna be a God-Emperor to! I relinquish my faith in Dio praise be to Jem!
Help! Help! I'm being repressed!
tl;dr no babes
God Emperor? There is only one and his sands will cleanse this pig disgusting.
indeed
great article. we do need a new president and you have my vote in the next election