Sir Gulden Draak
Beware of the secret police
They led me out of my farm, put me in a Q6 tank, and off we went. I began to settle down, perhaps Oblige just wanted to meet with me to tell me how awesome I am. We arrived at Oblige’s Q5 home paid with your tax dollars, and once we were inside it was clear he intended to do me harm. In the living room there was a boiling pit of lava, and several of my supporters including Glove and PiZ were trapped in cages above the pit. In his best Chris Hanson voice Oblige said, “Why don’t you get in a cage Gulden”. I had no choice, so in a cage I went.
Oblige about to throw me in a lava pit
He then began to lecture me, “You just couldn’t let me have it could you Gulden? The 77% the the love of my people, and the ability to accomplish my master plan.” “Master Plan?”, I said “What on earth are you talking about?”. (Oblige lets out evil villain laugh) “My plan Gulden, is too sell the entire nation to Serbia for the price of 10,000G and I want to watch the eUSA burn down.” “NOOOOOOOOO! Oblige how could you? We trusted you”, I exclaimed. He began to talk about how he was a ONE operative all along, and how he was so close to accomplishing his plan. I was moments away from death, I could feel it. However, before he dropped my cage in the lava he said, “Mentors! To the bedroom! We have business to accomplish” From that point on, all I could here were loud thumping sounds and strange noises. Being raised in a Bible school I didn’t really know what was going on.
While they were in the bedroom, I remembered that I kept a knife in my pocket in a case a woman attacked me during the night to have her way with me. Using my Macgyver skills, I was able to break out of my cage and then like a flying squirrel I went from cage to cage freeing all my supporters. We all then escaped through the kitchen door, and off into the night we went. But for how long will we be safe? The Oblige regime has obviously kept tabs on my supporters. When will be you be captured by Mentors? My supporters you are not safe.Oblige and his lackeys will stop at nothing to hurt you and bring down America. Stay alert my friends, join me in #thelair on IRC we will be safe there. If we are lucky we may just get out of this month alive.
Stay thirsty my friends,
Sir Gulden Draak
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