The Sainted Pun: The Pest Returns

Day 6,009, 14:20 Published in United Kingdom Turkey by Pontefract

The eUK's favourite toilet paper substitute returns

Mr Woldy goes for goldy

Sources describe Huey George as 'boring'

Change afoot at the BEP

By Pontefract

The premier rag of the eUK today makes a triumphant return in a vital win for God against the soldiers of misery. After unleashing the glorious truth regarding the Irish Scandal way back when and triggering the collapse in unified support for Sir Humphrey Appleby, The Pun is back for fun.

The fortunes of the eUK have undoubtedly improved since the last publication of this paper. More territories, greater wealth, increased respect and more opportunities are afforded to eUK players. This didn't stop one high-ranking source dismissing the national leader, however.

'Huey's good, but can't deny he's a bit stale,' they said, speaking exclusively to The Pun. 'Yeah things are better but that's not solely down to Huey. Somebody else mght be needed to push on further. I dont think its controversial to say, no. Huey won't want it forever.[sic]'

In a worrying sign that the cogs of e-history might be beginning to turn once again, another source simply answered 'Boring but seen as safe' when questioned on the merits of the leader.

This comes as Mr Woldy sets out his plan for the future of the eUK, plotting future cabinets amid discussions of a revamp over at the British Empire Party. Setting out a plan prior to the imminent presidential election, Mr Woldy set forth a manifesto that included prioritising population growth and player experience within the eUK. The Pun understands that a further push for change is to take place within the BEP itself, as the party discusses potential name and logo changes in an effort to push forward.

What will these changes look like? Will Huey become less stale? Will Sir Humphrey remember (or forgive) The Pun? Only one way to find out...

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A note on sources: The Pun messages players asking for statements. These players are asked whether they'd like their names printed or anonymity. The Pun considers any promised anonymity sacrosanct and identities will never be divulged. Sources: you can trust your Pun!

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