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A very hot topic, and one that is very controversial, has been the recent approval of the NAP between eAustralia and eIndonesia. So many people have mixed emotions about this agreement and it is almost causing a split between the good people of eAustralia.

But why are a lot of people upset about this thing? Surely us buying some eIndonesian companies for five months of peace with our warmongering neighbour isn’t as bad as it sounds right? For so much outrage there must be something our ePM isn’t telling us. That is why I decided to send in my journalists to find what is really being kept hidden from the public.

And my people have done just that!

The skilled journalists of the Word Down Under have managed to find the real NAP agreement between eAustralia and eIndonesia. There is a lot more than just than us (eAustralia) buying all eIndonesian companies in WA. What hasn’t been told to the public is the large amount of demands made by the eIndonesian President Wonder Forward – the same demands that were agreed to by our own politicians.

I feel ashamed that the truth has to be revealed here but I feel that I must let the public know the truth. Our government cannot hide the facts anymore. I am risking my very own life publishing this article. If I do go on a “business trip” at the last minute or I’ve had an “unfortunate accident”, than it has been an honour for me to present you many groundbreaking stories.

But the time has come and I shall not delay what the public wants to know. Here it is eAustralia, the real NAP between eAustralia and eIndonesia.

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Section 1. The Neutral Agreement Pact.
1.1: Aim of the NAP.
1.2: Length.

Section 2: eAustralia’s Commitments.
2.1: Company buybacks.
2.2: Non-aggression from eAustralia.
2.3: Defense of eIndonesia.
2.4: Attack on eIndonesia’s behalf.
2.5: No friends for eAustralia.
2.6: Janitorial Duties.
2.7: Entertainment.
2.8: eIndonesian President Tributes.

Section 3: eIndonesian’s Commitments.
3.1: Non-aggression from eIndonesia.

Section 4: Regions covered by the NAP.
4.1: eAustralia’s Regions.
4.2: eIndonesia’s Regions.

Section 1. The Neutral Agreement Pact.
1.1: Aim of the NAP.
It is the aim of this agreement to ensure that the peoples of eAustralia and eIndonesia live in harmony. Let this arrangement be done for the benefit of all eCitizens present so that they will not have to live in fear of the possibility of war. Let this arrangement ensure that many eAustralians and eIndonesians in years to come live in a time of peace and happiness.

1.2: Length.
The NAP shall cover a period of five months. Towards the end of the fifth month the NAP will be up for review.

Section 2. eAustralia’s Commitments.
2.1: Company buybacks.
eAustralia will buy back all eIndonesian companies. It will cost us a lot of money but it will fill up the empty pockets of the eIndonesian bank. If we don’t buy back any of the companies, we will hand over the keys to the National Bank of eAustralia to the eIndonesian President and he/she will take as much money as they want.

2.2: Non-aggression from eAustralia.
eAustralia promises that we will not attack any of the regions occupied by eIndonesia for at least 5 months. This also applies to eIndonesian aggression towards eAustralia - if we are to be attacked by eIndonesia we shall not fight back as this will break the treaty. Should we do so than we will pay over 5000 gold to eIndonesia and an additional 2000 gold per region they hold at the time. Attacking eIndonesia will also bring great shame and dishonour for eAustralia.

2.3: Defense of eIndonesia.
eAustralia will come to the aid of eIndonesia should they be attacked by anyone. We will bring everything we have, from the Dropbears, to the Kylie Minogue Robots and even the MECHA KOALA 2000 should the situation call for it (see more of eAustralia’s high-tech weapons here). The eAustralian military will supply eIndonesia whatever they want and whenever they want. Should we not defend eIndonesia, eIndonesia will not defend us. Furthermore, eIndonesia will join in on the attack as well.

2.4: Attack on eIndonesia’s behalf.
eAustralia will fight alongside eIndonesia or be used as the sacrificial frontline in any war eIndonesia starts. As with the 2.3 arrangement, eIndonesia will have full access to our military. If we do not attack on eIndonesia’s behalf, than we shall be attacked by them in return for our failure to commit.

2.5: No friends for eAustralia.
eAustralia must break all ties with any eCountry that they have very good relationships with, including their close friends eMalaysia. Should eIndonesia go to war with one of these countries we will be encouraged more to fight against their former friends as proof of their new friendship with eIndonesia. Should eAustralia not attack their friends, we will be placed on the naughty chair for an unknown amount of time until we apologise for not attacking our former friends.

2.6: Janitorial Duties.
eAustralia must make sure all of eIndonesia is kept in a pristine condition. This includes the scrubbing of every toilet, the sweeping of every street and the shampooing of every animal. There must not be a spot of dirt on any part of eIndonesia. For every piece of unclean property found the eAustralian responsible must pay 50 gold and lick the spot clean.

2.7: Entertainment.
eAustralia must entertain the grand and wise eIndonesia President and his party every Sunday during his dinner party. We will perform humourous acts of comedy, act out scenes from many movies and have wonderful musicians playing wonderful music. Most importantly, we will provide very sexy women who have exceptional dancing skills. Failure to impress the eIndonesian President and his guests will see all involved pay a fine for 100 gold and they will be ordered to do extra cleaning duties (see 2.6).

2.8: eIndonesian President Tributes.
a) Daily virgins.
The eIndonesian President demands a virgin be brought to him/her daily. Should he/she not receive one than a random town in eAustralia will be burnt to the ground in compensation.

b) Daily sacrifices.
eAustralia will offer the following sacrifices weekly to honour the eIndonesian President:
- 5 Kangaroos
- 3 Emus
- 2 Koalas

Should we fail to meet the weekly sacrifice requirements we must triple the amount the following week and so on until the eIndonesia President is satisfied.

c) Imperial Palace.
eAustralia is to begin construction of a grand palace in Jakarta to the current eIndonesian President and all eIndonesian Presidents to come. We will use all of our resources to build this great building and will contribute many workers for many generations to come until it has been completed.

Section 3. eIndonesia’s Commitments.
3.1: Non-aggression from eIndonesia.
eIndonesia assures that they won’t attack eAustralia for at least a week. Once a week has past the doors are open to a second invasion from eIndonesia. As stated at point 2.2, eAustralia must not put up a resistance. Should we decide to attack before the week is over, than we will say sorry and add on another week of non-aggression.

Section 4. Regions covered by the NAP.
4.1: eAustralia.
…

4.2: eIndonesia.
a) eIndonesian Regions.
Java
Papua
Kalimantan
Lesser Sunda Islands
Maluku Islands
Sumatra
Sulawesi

b) eSouth Africa Regions.
Northern-Cape.
Western-Cape.

c) eIndia Regions.
Madhya-Pradesh
Karnataka

d) eChina Regions.
Xinjiang
Guangdong
Fujian

(Editor's Note: The copy of this NAP could be a dud placed on the desk of the ePM on purpose as they may have been tipped off about our journalists. We believe this is the real NAP and by saying this is a fake is merely reverse-psychology being practiced by the eAustralian Government).