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Issue #84

Bury me in Smoke

Uncensored, Ghost Fu:

Here I was; buried alive, inside a safe.
I was slowly running out of oxygen and I had already relieved myself, in the confined space. All I could think about, other than death, was the fact that I still had a doobie and a lighter.

It all started, about, two days ago. (It's hard to tell from inside this safe.)


Artist's Rendering of the Man at the Club.


A friend of a friend told me that she was being stalked. She works at a strip joint, so I could only imagine what sorts of promises the two had made to each other.
I've done some things that I'm not proud of and my conscious plays on the deficit. I took a ride, to see it for myself.

I still don't know if the woman was an accessory or if she is in a plot next to mine, but there was some creepy guy outside the club.

When arrived both were, uglying at one another, but nobody said anything. The silence was awkward, so I intruded myself.

At that point; 8 of his multis appeared.

He took a swing at me with something. I was not in his threat range, so I stepped out of the way. It was a Taser.

He tried again, so I grabbed his hand, put pressure on outside of his palm and swept his knee. Another multi hit me with a Tazer. I stiffened up and fell, splitting my wig on the concrete.

The next thing that I remember; I was in this steel coffin. I could hear the dirt, being poured on the door.





I knew that death was knocking on my door, but it was going to be on my terms. I decided to blaze the doobie, while there was still enough oxygen to light it.

I felt the keychain and remember that I had a small file on my keychain The knife was made of stainless steel and the safe was made from cold rolled, steel. From the inside, I couldn't get to the lock, but the latch was exposed.
It felt pretty futile, but it didn't take long before I had worn a groove into the latch.

I was able to saw through the latch but the door was blocked. I got onto my back and pressed the door open, with my legs. The door opened a bit and I started excavating the loose dirt with my hands.

When I surfaced; I was afraid that somebody would be waiting and strike me over the head with a shovel, but there was no one. I could see a freshly dug grave, next to mine.

I dug it up, but it was one of the multis I'd seen at the at the club; permanent-banned.

What's, really, going on?







Fourth of July Celebration:

You might call it the lament of an old fart, but I remember when the eUS had some testicular fortitude.
I know those people aren't dead. The fortitude is strong with my clique. So, what's really going on?

From my adolescence; I realized that it was essential to defend myself against my own siblings. I like to be friends with everyone, but a closed mouth doesn't get fed.

It's a sad state of affairs. We are hard as a rock and shut like a lock. Politics is a dirty word and I'm a, very, naughty boy.

There are ample tedious and mind numbing distractions. I'm getting job offers today, but tomorrow; I'd be broke and in the gutter.
I'm not part of the façade.

I know that you've heard my opinion; like a broken record and the gall of our overlords must speak for itself.
Yet, despite their impudence; we show compassion.
Despite their efforts to defame us; we have pretended to be part or their corporation.

Finally:

I'm in inviting you to a 4th of July Celebration. Let's celebrate by overthrowing our Reptilian Overlord.
I won't call it a Civil War. We love war, so by that logic, it can't be one of those.

I'm not holding all the cards, so I can't promise that everyone will be sitting pretty. I'm not looking for anything in return. Trekker will still be president. I just want to take my head out of the sand and let everyone hear a warrior's call.

Let those from without the confinement of the forum, go forward. Let those from within the forum, head my words: Bick by brick; we will tear down your establishment. We will excavate your social stratification. We will lay our rock at the foundations of your institutions. It's too late for some.


P.S.
We will need the following:
We need an MU with some balls, we need 200,000 treasury notes and Fate.
Maybe, the naysayers are right; Maybe, they are destined act like cattle.
Not I. I'll ride the cattle until the cows come home. Yee Haw!






Attention Cadets;
Today is your first chance to earn an ichaban.

How many influence points are necessary to win a battle?
How does the Determination Bonus Work?
In the last article, what did I claim would be the focus of this article?




The next session will be about cutting the lawn.

Class dismissed.





Grab a pen and paper. Help us write the people's history.







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