Join the new world

This is the story of the path of a player from her birth to her redemption. It's a long history, but it's mine, and I hope you find something in it that you can relate to.



New Players - Don't give up, find a group with like-minded players in this game and you'll have a great time! Some of them you will have to look for, but it will be worth it!



I came into eRep in V1 through a banner, from god knows where, I can't remember anymore. I knew nothing and no one. I followed any direction that I could find. I joined the forums and posted in all the "newbie" threads. I messaged Meals On Wheels and the Flying Unicorn Squadron and got my silly newb behind to the right fortress state. Like many older players now, Ligtreb was my very first friend request and he remains on my list today. I watched everything around me and took note of all the visible high level players to learn what I could about how the game played.

Back then we had many diverse groups in the eUS. Each had it's own culture and expectations. Each had it's own purpose. Back then every player could find a comfy place to call home. Players bonded through similar mindsets and interests, and no one was forced into one mold. Political players and military players rarely mixed, and if they did it was typically at high levels. From my eBaby view the eWorld thrived.

It wasn't long before I noticed the tanks rolling by on the battle screen. I started to recognize avatars. Like the giant white gorilla, Jankems (RIP Big Daddy). Back then we had a military module that was sort of like a tug of war. Damage accumulated on one side until it went over the edge and the timer ran out. Strategy and timing were critical. The last three moments of battles could literally determine the outcome if planned properly. I remember not understanding a damn thing, but recognizing immediately that the most badass players in eRep appeared in those last three moments. I'd watch with awe. It was then that I decided that I wanted to be one of them. I'd found my path and my goal.



I was directed to a forum link by a player that befriended me via reading some articles that I was writing. He was a member of Airborne, the eUS Military's second highest branch. At the time the eUS Military was the official military of this country. ST6 was the premier militia. If a military minded player did not like the structured environment of the Mil, they had several militia options to choose from. Anywho...he linked me to a thread about how the Training Division was being restructured into the Training Corps under General Angelini. The thread stated that the TC would be operational in about three weeks. There were instructions of where to apply to Colonel Relin, and I did so. That began the longest acceptance wait EVER, lol. Three weeks. Nowadays people cry if they don't get accepted into a unit in three days.

I was accepted as troop #29 into the brand new Training Corps. Sadly my avatars from back then are long lost, along with most of the players that I grew up with. The eUS lost an incredibly large amount of it's history when the eUS Milforums had to be recreated a couple of years ago. Eventually I morphed from a wandering baby into a proud troop of the eUS Training Corps. I evolved.

I graduated into the reserve division and was quickly promoted to an officer spot. I loved the brotherhood of mass attacks. In the best times we could get 200-300 players from all branches into one IRC room at 2am for the end of battles. It was FANTASTIC. Watching the wall drop in the last moment was seriously nipple hardening stuff. Every player was made to feel like they mattered. I remember the legendary CJCS himself, Eugene Harlot, sending the TC troops in to hit first, and making us all feel like our little 20 damage hits were so important...and you know what...back then they were. My bond with the Mil grew stronger through mutual respect and fun.



I spent hours and hours every day trying to come up with ideas to get my troops active and keep them interested, until the time came that they were recruited by one of the higher branches. We all had so much fun and it showed. TC became the most sought after training program in the eWorld. We had requests for other countries to show them how we all did what we did. People took TC manuals and gave them to other countries on the down low, other groups tried to create training programs in our own country to rival TC...and they all failed. What no one realized was that it was not the manual, or the documents, or the structure that made TC so great, it was the PLAYERS that spent every day trying to simply enjoy each other and the game together. It was the respect that we gave each other,and the trust we had in our team. Those were the secret ingredients.

After almost six months I was given the command of TC, and I joined the JCS, alongside legends such as Harlot, Jankems, Paradiziac, Lucky, etc. I was awestruck, but I evolved.



It was shortly before this time that I realized how crappy and cruel some players could be. It never dawned on me that people that did not respect the Mil's values and codes wouldn't leave to find a home that fit them, some of them actually stayed to create chaos. I understand that there are many types of gamers, and that some people truly have fun by harassing others, but this really left-fielded me. The lies, hate, backroom dirty planning....I guess it was easy to overlook when I wasn't responsible for the entire branch and the fun and retention of so many. It was then that I learned how hard it would be as a member of the JCS to keep our family protected, both inside and out. I always looked at Generals like they had it so easy, having such great officers under their command to take care of the paperwork and daily going's on. I never realized what a pain in the rear and true joy killer having that chair was at times. The JCS is where the military met the political realm, and I hated it. Back then the two groups were VERY separate, and that allowed the creation of experts per se. People who's sole job was to focus on our damage output, or our retention, or our government. There were very few that I have seen, to this day, that managed to bridge both groups successfully.



I've always tried to live by an internal honor system. I believe that honesty and respect are critical in my life. I was raised in a culture of respect with a code of honor. You give respect where it is due and you protect your family. I've never had time for bullcrap, and I prefer to speak my mind. But having that position meant that I was representing the entire military, so I took it seriously and tried my best to "represent" and I feel that I did that, I did not blindly follow anyone and expressed my ideas and debated things I did not agree with. But I always backed up my team.



After a few months I had some real life issues come up and I was not able to be online all day, every day anymore. To me if I could not be super active it was time to retire. I retired and was asked by Jankems to continue on as an Advisor to the JCS. I accepted. I was also accepted into the branch I had chosen as my goal as an eBaby, the Airborne. I evolved.



Airborne is alot more easy going than the younger branches, and rightfully so. There was alot less officer interaction because by the time you got there, you already knew the game. We were free to enjoy each other. There was no branch higher but the Marines. The rivalry between both branches is legendary. These are branches that, back then, you had to play for many months to be strong enough to apply for. This was back before the days of paying for strength. Back when only time could make you stronger and a higher level. Back in the GOOD days where long term players got some respect. I always imagined that my service would end with the Airborne.

I loved my time there. I was just then big enough to actually TANK! I was so proud. This was around V2 and it's demise and the initial V3. We lost alot of great players with the version changes. The game still required a bit of strategy and I was loving my new found freedom and branch. I got to learn to tank with great players that I'd grown with and admired, like Maruishima. Back then Vanek was just a bit smaller than me and I used to beg to get him into the tank runs when they set the level a bit too high, lol. It's crazy how much bigger he's gotten. I loved those guys and girls in Airborne to no end and I had a blast. We'd get sent on late night sniper missions to foreign countries by the CJCS because not many were online...fun as hell. And as a JCS Advisor I got to throw my opinions in but not have to formally deal with all of the political bullcrap aspects that so negatively impacted my gaming while I was in command. eLife was good. I belonged to a group that kept me playing and having fun every day, I was a BAMF tank, and I continued to log on every single day to people that made me feel like I mattered in some way.



Throughout my time serving with the JCS I watched the relationship between the government and the military degrade. It was always rocky to begin with, but it got perpetually worse with every passing election. I was lucky enough to have known people in both groups that I considered my game friends. I saw and heard many things as I tend to watch everything around me at all times so that I know what is happening...plus it helps me learn from great players. Word was getting around that those who chose to remain in the Mil despite not agreeing with it's structure and culture were starting to move to ensure that the military leadership was overthrown. They were joining behind the scenes with certain political players who wanted to remove the JCS so that they could take over the military for themselves. Certain members of the JCS were becoming increasingly paranoid due to all of the backstabbing and underhanded games being played by the players within the military. But this isn't about any of them so I won't go into that any further. The sacred lines of mixing politics and military were being crossed, as some in the military argued that the only way to combat the situation was to create a party dedicated to giving the people of the military a voice in the government side. Hence the birth of the American Military Party. Even I threw my hat into the congressional ring at one time.



The negativity and change was draining for me, and I was spending more time offline with my kids. It was at this time that I chose to retire from the Advisory position and become just another troop again. I retired from platoon leadership in AB. I missed the simple joys of playing without the looming negativity cloud that was peeking on the horizon. The sense that something wicked was indeed coming.



It was after a short game break of a week or so that I returned to an eWorld turned upside down. The JCS had made the decision to split the eUS Military from the government, and everyone's previously sacred safety and serenity was gone.

The political players, along with the disgruntled military players were creating a new "official" military. The eUS Military was on the edge of implosion. Propaganda and lies were everywhere. Brothers had to suddenly decide to split from brothers and move on, or remain with the only home they'd ever cared about. People were dazed, confused and brokenhearted on both sides. We lost even more players then. I can honestly say that this was the most significant, and game breaking moment in the history of the game since I have known it. Even the admins couldn't screw up the game as bad as our combined leaders all did at this moment. It changed everything. Everyone went ballistic. Players had to fight for the simple right to exist with groups that they loved. This strife continues on to this day and we have never recovered our passive coexistence. We have come close a few times to having leaders that could unite us again, but they are typically shadowed by some of the same players that want to ensure their positions remain secure, and hence the divide remains, as does the paranoia on both sides. The politics have consumed our diversity, and it is killing the game.

And it all happened because a few players wanted all of the toys.



At this time I feel like I devolved, along with everyone else. I made the decision to remain with the eUS Military and to fight to retain the culture that had embraced me and the home that I loved. It simply would not be Airborne outside of the eUS Military. I think that the Marines that stayed felt the same. We have history there, it is who we are. I was in constant defense mode. It was difficult to log in and not feel despair and sadness. I missed my bros that left. I was NOT in agreement with everything that was happening, on BOTH sides. The brotherhood that I had grown to treasure was starting to tear because of the distrust of what some had chosen to do to our family. Everyone was on edge, and I finally snapped.

I left my home quietly. I did not create chaos like so many others had done before me. I did not publicize my departure for positional gain and sell the Mil out like others before and since...I simply agreed to disagree with what was happening at that moment, and do what I believed was right, and what I'd expected from my troops, I simply moved on to find another home that I felt I fit into. I tried to evolve.



Thus began the "Bia MU World Tour". MU's were becoming the must have thing,and with the addition of the daily order rewards it was simply the thing to do.

I visited quite a few MU's. Just jumped my little lone wolf self into them to see what kind of atmosphere their MU's had. I figured if I liked the atmosphere in the MU it would reflect on the culture of the military group in general. I'd join and finish the entry orders and then post a hello in the MU feed. I have to be honest, some of the ones that you think would be active since they are large, or cater to newer players....were pretty quiet and unfriendly. Disappointing actually.

I received the greatest welcome from a small MU called the Hell Jumpers, the Marines and Seal Team 6. I felt honestly welcomed in all three. The people were super friendly in them, but I couldn't quite fight the feeling that for whatever reason, I didn't belong anywhere. I'd visit for two days to a week and move on.

I wound up on the Civilian Military Unit shortly after Goalie created it during his term as PotUS. It was quiet and unassuming. Rainy Sunday was QM'ing from donations to keep everyone going. I grabbed the Captain's spot in my regiment and tried to keep the dead and banned people cleaned out, I did my thing, completed my orders and added newbies and sent food when I saw them join my regiment. But my heart just couldn't get into the game. I had offers for positions here and there in cabinets and other areas, and I'd pass on them with the excuse that real life is pretty busy for me right now. It really is, but given the right inspiration I could have made time. I just wasn't feeling anything. To be honest that only thing keeping me in the game at all was my stubborn insistence on outliving the little twits who tried to ruin my gaming experience by harassing me. Most are dead now.

I also have this irrational hope that people will open their eyes, see what we have lost, or if you are new what we are lacking as far as diversity, and rise up to try to fix what we all so carelessly let break. It's probably as unrealistic as Santa Claus but one can dream, you know?

I was surrounded by people but felt lonely. Not for nothing, but I deal with that in real life at times, I sure as hell don't want to deal with it while gaming. Coming back from another couple of day break when Artela was elected I entered and saw the MU's name changed. I'm getting a complex that every time I don't log in for a few days something goes wonky in my small eWorld. I just wanted some comfort and somewhere that I understood.



So, I hopped into the Marines MU. Cstarlight has been around forever, she was a badass Marine when I began playing. Despite that she showed me respect and affection from when I was a tiny player, she is all class. HisAirness and I served like siblings on the JCS, me giving him crap most days, and him gracefully taking it and patting me on the behind. Like a family would. Added to them 40 or so of the greatest, most dedicated and loyal tanks left in this game....I felt...at home. Although the offer to join them has been open for me since I retired from TC, as it is the historical retirement home for all Generals, my heart was still bleeding. The Marines let me hang out in their MU and treated me like I was one of them. While other branches removed my access on the Milforums when I left, the Marines who I never served, graciously added me as a member so that I might visit from time to time.

For weeks now they have harbored me and shown me their respect. I am no one special. They have no reason to extend themselves for me, or give me a place to rest. I have lived my eLife lately as a rebel, ensuring that the truth is shown to as many people as necessary. I am outspoken, and I can be a giant pain in the groin if I feel people are being shady and dishonorable. They have always been this countries most respected branch, they have history that has outlived many thousands of citizens, their roster has included many of the greatest players we have had, and their grace and dedication are awe inspiring. They owe me nothing. But at one time we fought together as a team. We respected each other and counted each other friends and comrades, and that is good enough for them.



It occurred to me the other day that I did not want to pass from this eLife without obtaining the highest of honors. I owe almost three years of fun and friendship to the players in the eUS Military. They have been my laughter and my smiles. They are my history. It would be a dishonor to them, and to myself and my game, to exit this game any other way.

They are one of the only groups left in this game that can hold their heads up. Every one of them could have been bought out for much higher supplies and power, yet they chose to remain true to each other. That's classy. That's honor. That's a true brotherhood. After the months of wandering alone, I realize that that is what I want in this crazy game.

Today...I evolve. Today, I reach the pinnacle for an eWarrior.

Today, I am a Marine!



At least I will eDie with my honor intact and at peace, will you?

HUGS!