Shit just got real

Day 1,437, 14:27 • Published in Switzerland USA • by Penguin4512




Dear readers, I want to thank you. I want to thank you for putting your votes in a candidate who gave no plan, had no relevance, a miserable track record, and who had lifted his campaign program off google pictures a few minutes before running. There were many who told me, when I began my campaign to represent this beautiful country, that I would never be able to overcome my years of fraud, embezzlement, perjury and second degree manslaughter to win the votes of the Swiss people. Those people were wrong.

Now, as I may have mentioned, not only did I have no ambition to win but I was also not prepared for the possibility. So, at least regarding economic issues or that war we have going on with someone or other I will remain undecided on for the time being.

But never to fear! After taking a look at opinion polls regarding the Congress Elections, I was pleasantly surprised to see that while only 2% of natural Swiss citizens voted for me I received a whopping 90% of the vote in both the Yankee PTOer and multiaccount ethnic groups.

My votes from the Yanks do not come as much of a surprise because I had large grassroots support there, but I must say I am honored to have had the multiaccount community place such trust in me. No doubt after the renaming of the SNP they had to find someone new to support. Well, I will not let my voters down, and so I would like to announce my proposed legislature for this month.

I call it: The Effort for the Emancipation of Multiaccounts.

Readers, you may be unsettled. But look deep into your hearts. We as a society constantly discriminate against multiaccounts. It is a fact that multiaccounts have few rights, are forbidden with interacting with us, and are are restricted access to sometimes even the most basic public needs.


Multies are people too.

We cannot keep ourselves blind to the multi abuse which goes on in front of our very eyes! Every day, millions of multies are submitted to the cruel and unyielding banhammer. Every day, millions of multies are denied their voting rights simply because of who they are.

Multies don't choose to become multies, any more than you can choose your color or race, or me choose not to go out at night and murder people. It just is.


If you don't donate now this poor multi's mommy could get banned

Readers, I know the truth hurts. But hey, I know what demographic I'm pandering to. So long, and make sure to lock your doors at night because PENGUIN IS BACK!