Part 2 of my Party Presidential Platform:

Day 3,520, 18:37 • Published in USA USA • by Jimmy Cincinnati



My mistress

I'm running for Socialist Freedom Party Presidency, on the 15th and I want to gain your vote. Please take a moment to read about my candidacy.

My wife jokes that I'm having an ongoing affair. (Why else would I be on here so much?) I've assured her that there are no women on the internet, but the truth is complicated.
The Socialist Freedom Party has given me a fair and balanced platform, throughout, most of my eLife. We've been together through the bad times and the good. She's given me opportunities and insight that may not have been available, otherwise. She's provided me with an endless stream of friendly and witty intercourse.
I know that we were made for each other So, I want the eWorld know; Jimmy Cincinnati is running for Chairman of the Revolutionary Committee.




Humans

Greetings, fellow aliens. I've been skimming the gene pool for finest specimens the planet currently supports. They are great candidates for organ transplants, hybridizations, inseminations and all that shit. So, come on down to Socialist Freedom Party and tell them, "Take me to you leader."

Vice President:
Komeko, Aka The lizard King/ Commie
The game mechanics don't give this job description the power that the title implies. If anything should happen to me, Komeco couldn't be president. However, Komeco will be an ambassador and political pundit.


Secretary General:
Centomax
He's going to be heading our recruitment and retention team. (More on that in the next edition.) The recruitment and retention team includes; The Norm, Fank Stone, Shiloh 13, Neimand, Salty and Wooky Jack.

Councilor:
Frank Stone, Aka Comrade Frank
Frank's going to be treasurer and head of the economics committee. The committee will include; Hoss 1965 and Frank Stone.

Spokesperson:
Maxwell Hanz, Aka Max
Max will be editor for the Socialist Freedom Party Official Media and the head of the Writer's Guild. The Writer's Guild is; Komeko, D-money, RF Williams and Phil Harmony.


Note
There is room to expand on all these programs I'll detail some plans in the next issue.