Join the new world

Day 1
Today everything I had planned and considered was turned upside down. I was on my yearly trip to Vienna with the rest of my travel group when we heard the roar of planes overhead. Moments later, the museum we were visiting was torn apart by the destructive force of Croatian bombs.

Sadly, I was the only one who survived. The rest of my group was incinerated, including any small children present. (Especially small children, owing to their lesser mass and lack of fully developed bodies. In fact, whereas afterwards the charred corpses of the adults could be found scattered around the rubble in general positions of agony, as a general rule of thumb any child under the age of twelve was instantly vaporized. But I digress...)

I only found myself in able condition due to a peculiar sequence of circumstances. Due to a unique medical condition I must allocate large amounts of time to using the restroom facilities. It was during one of these times that the bombs fell. Because Austrian bathrooms are generally found next to pigsties, I was shielded from the resulting blast.

As it is, I am now stranded in enemy territory. My grip of the Croatian language is tenuous at best, and if I understand the currency system, which is not entirely certain, I have enough money for three games of arcade pinball at the nearest specified pinball area. Since it is at least a five day trip to the Swiss border (penguin speed), I will have to go on less than one game of pinball per day. Though my own doctor recommended I use pinball facilities no less than three times daily, these are extenuating circumstances and can be alleviated partially by an increased duration of my early morning ritual hand washing.

However, an entirely different problem presents itself when I arrive at the border. With my own home nation at war with that of my current location, I will have to sneak past security and somehow get myself into friendly territory. Due to my close and constant vigilance of the Croatian people, I have concluded that they are a mistrustful and paranoid people always on the lookout. I will have to make sure not to catch their attention.

I do have one great advantage though, and this is the fact that the authorities have no idea that I survived their extensive firebombing. I will have to take utmost care to make sure that they do not find out a foreigner has escaped their dreadful trap.