Laughs & Giggles (A MUST READ)

Day 2,338, 14:15 Published in USA USA by Big Papa USA

Ok last article was good but as a writer i felt like it wasn't great. I would like to make my articles a little more heart felt than just you read and laugh. Ok so i am going ask everyone who reads this the pick there favorite Category.I would like you to post The name of the Category in the comment section with a quick message on why you liked that one the best. If you could do this it would help me to make you all have a little more of a chuckle.

FREE ADVERTISEMENT:
Don't Forget to visit TyrannosaurusCaptinrex and the Monthly Funnies article: https://www.erepublik.com/en/article/the-weekly-funnies-2392235/1/20

DO YOU WANT YOUR MONEY TO MAKE YOU MONEY?
IF SO THEN VISIT "eJoy Global" at:
http://www.erepublik.com/en/newspaper/ejoy-global-corporation--289793/1


Categories: Dirty, Blonde, Yo Mama Jokes


Dirty Jokes

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."


A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"


Blonde Jokes

Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: She can't find the eleven.

Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"
Brunette: "I don’t know."
Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"


Yo Mama Jokes

Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Your momma is so ugly she made One Direction go another direction.

IF ONLY WE ALL WERE RIPPED LIKE THIS GUY



THANK YOU FOR READING
Sincerely, Big Papa USA