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“And he arose, and took the young child and his mother, and came into the land of Israel. But when he heard that Archelaus did reign in Judaea in the room of his father Herod, he was afraid to go thither: notwithstanding, being warned of God in a dream, he turned aside into the parts of Galilee: And he came and dwelt in a city called Nazareth: that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophets, He shall be called a Nazarene.”

Matthew 2:21-23




24 December 2010, Day 1,130 of the New World. I almost thought this would not be possible. I expected the battle in Indonesia to keep me occupied longer than this, but now the mission is accomplished. Upon arriving back in Israel, I discovered a deficiency in declared Knesset candidates. There were only five declared in Haifa District, five in Nazareth North District, and six in Jerusalem District. Every region in our country is entitled to seven official candidates.

By contrast, Beersheba South District, my incumbency, has seven candidates from one party alone. The combination of the race in the capital district being flooded, my early resignation last term to go fight against Indonesia, the lack of candidates in other regions, and the election coinciding with Christmas led me to one natural action. I am running for Christmas Knesset in Nazareth North District!



How appropriate it is that I should make my Congress trophy collection an even dozen on Christmas in the land of the Savior?

This will be my fifth term in the Israeli Knesset. I am usually among the most active members, so you don’t have to worry about me being a medal hunter. I am also commander of Israel Defense Forces, so the four gold from the treasure map will go to a good cause. I also don’t grant citizenship to people trying to PTO us.

Notice that I wrote this after the deadline to declare candidacy. I put up a placeholder article as my campaign presentation. (Thank you to the ten people who voted this article before there was anything here. It’s comforting and perplexing to have such dedicated subscribers.) Because of that, I know that I’ve already won, as Nazareth will have seven official candidates, and there are only seven of us running. Thanks for that, because now I don’t have to stress over the polls this Christmas.



I tried to gather a couple more candidates when I realized that the deadline was fast approaching. Unfortunately many people weren’t available or were too slow. I notice that Con Dingo snuck on at the last hour again, this time in Jerusalem District. He will win unopposed as well, the adept medal-hunter that he is. We also might have a treasury thief running in Beersheba South District, so watch out for that.