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Well Australia, our MoD is not online at the moment, so I have asked our Super Special Intel Unit to do some research on our target: ENGLAND

From our initial intelligence gathering we have deducted and worked out the following plan. Please see attached photos for reference purposes and also for attack strategies.

This is our target. England. Please everyone make yourself aware of the target as we do not want to get lost on the way and accidently land in China.

Our elite Minion Special forces will link up with the Dropbears and attack the southern part of England.

As shown in the above tactical map, there are some regions of importance and some that we do not need to worry about:

- Bristol the southern military command will hit here first. This is so they can enjoy some good old fish and chips to refuel their bellies after the long flight.
- Cardiff we will miss this area as it is not England, it is actually Whales and well, Australia does not support the hunting of Whales (even for "scientific" reasons).
- Oxford after taking Bristol, we will move through Oxford. The only resistance we expect from Oxford are snob nosed nerds. We hope not to spend too much time here, but we will ensure we bring our bogan attitudes with us.
- London, here is where we will launch a full on assault to obtain the Crown Jewells (no not the naughty ones) so we can rightfully inherit the kingdom of England.
- Norwich After taking the Crown Jewells, the Southern Army will head north into Norwich. From our research, it was originally held by the Danish, so this will be a good spot to stop and get some yummy pastries.
- Nottingham, when our bellies are full, the Southern Army will move into Nottingham. We expect fierce resistance here as it is the home of knights. However we will be linking up with a local rebel leader named Robin and his merry men so they can assist us.
- Birmingham, This target is still undecided. We have asked our intel guys to gain more information. As we do not know if there are giant beetles running around here, or if it is a German outpost to produce the VW 'love bug'... and well I like Herbie movies as a kid.

The Central Army will be comprised of frontline Minion soldiers and our hard working Kangaroo Army.

Like the Southern Part, there are some regions here that we do not need to worry about and some that hold great meaning to Australia... and well myself.

- Belfast This is not apart of England so we will not worry about striking.
- Manchester The Central Army will land here in Manchester. The reason being is the 1999 Champions League Final where Man Spew stole the Cup from my beloved Bayern Munich in the last 3 mins. (Intel video)
- Leeds after Manchester is taken, we will move onto Leeds. Many Australians will know this area from the time our beloved Aussie Soccer/football great Harry Kewell started his career with Leeds United.
- Newcastle Due to the warm beer here, we will skip this area and move straight on.
- Edinburgh While not apart of England, we will still strike here to reclaim the Australian actor Mel Gibson. He belongs in his Ford XB GT Coupe V8 interceptor and not wearing a skirt.

The Northern Army will be comprised of Minion Future soldiers and the same elite Emu's that beat Australia

This Northern Force's sole duty is to hit Edinburgh early, to ensure we successfully secure the Whisky. We need this whisky for the invasion after party.


From your Department of Defence.