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Interesting sound.



What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool?














Bob.

How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator?



Open the door, put the elephant in, and close the door?


There's a party, and all the animals in the kingdom are invited. Who's the only one that doesn't show?


The elephant. Hes stuck in the fridge.

There's a river in front of you, and the map says it's infested with alligators, and there's no bridge. How do you get across?

You swim. The alligators are at the party.

Uhmmmm, maybe that could be a man making a drum roll?

This is my joke:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

The sound is one of those old cash register receipt things?

My joke:

When is it time to go to the dentist?

...



At tooth-hurty.

I had a dog once, but I had to shoot him.
Was he mad?
Well, he wasn't very pleased.

justin Bieber walks into a bar and orders an ass hurt . Barman look at him perplexed and say what is that I have never heard of a ass hurt but what goes into it. Justin say I dont know but each time Bean & Teddy comes over they serve me a drink that is very delicious and the next day when I wake up my ass hurts.

lol

Soun😛 photocopy machine? :3

Bad joke:
A mom goes to check on a nanny is supposed to be taking care of her baby at the park.
When she sees the nanny, she sees that she is not carrying her baby.

-Where is mi child woman? Why are you carrying someone else's?
- You said really clearly: if the baby wets itself, change it please.

When your mothers say "Wow your fat" I always reply me fat naw I am expecting a little elephant look you can already see its little trunk.

mike tyson has beaten everyone so hears there is a guy who everyone is afraid off in the old transvaal so he goes there. he ask the petrol attendant do you know where i can get big john. petrol attendant cowers and looks around and say dont say his name out aloud he goes to the hotel often. so mike goes to the hotel's bar orders a drink and after receiving it he ask bartender where is big john i want to fight him. bartender falls on his ass and points to the swinging doors of the bar. in walks a man 8 foot high with legs as broad as tree trunks and arms to match. nervously mike tyson laughs and hands him his drink and say I'm Mike tyson and always wanted to meet you big John whereby the giant cowers and drops to the floor and in a tiny voice say is Big John here.

great joke where did you get that?

Sound : Blender?

Joke: I noticed two large women by the bar. They both had strong accents so I asked, "Hey are you two ladies from Scotland?"

...One of them screamed back at me, "It's Wales you stupid IDIOT!

So, I immediately apologized and said, "Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?"

What do you call a man with no legs in a hole in the ground? Phil
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in a butcher shop? Chuck
What do you call two men with no legs hanging in a window? Kurt and Rod
What do you call a woman with one leg? ILEAN
What do you call a Chinese woman with one leg? Irene
What do you call a man with no arms and legs on the floor? Matt

Well that is enough for now. I am leaving now with my new Russian Chauffeur Peekup Andropov.

mike tyson has beaten everyone so hears there is a guy who everyone is afraid off in the old transvaal so he goes there. he ask the petrol attendant do you know where i can get big john. petrol attendant cowers and looks around and say dont say his name out aloud he goes to the hotel often. so mike goes to the hotel's bar orders a drink and after receiving it he ask bartender where is big john i want to fight him. bartender falls on his ass and points to the swinging doors of the bar. in walks a man 8 foot high with legs as broad as tree trunks and arms to match. nervously mike tyson laughs and hands him his drink and say I'm Mike tyson and always wanted to meet you big John whereby the giant cowers and drops to the floor and in a tiny voice say is Big John here.

there is this big meteorite that has fallen in times squares in new york and no matter what the people do they cant remove it or break it up. so the canadian cp say i will clear it for you for a million dollar and bring along a canadian worker called alexandria the great. so the new york mayor immediately agree.

so he says something in the ear of old alexandria who doesnt look like much . so he nervously walks to the top and at the top most part he signals to the CP the CP shows him a thumbs up. so alexandria takes out the chisel and nervously places it on top of the meteorite he then swings the hammer and closes his eyes right before it hits the chisel. the meteorite immediately breaks into a thousand pieces.


so the major is jumping up in joy . jees he say how did you do that. so the cp says i must acknowledge to you something that guy is the biggest f*up in the history of canada he is such a danger we had to issue a law to cancel his driving license for 15 years. All I did was tell him alexandria fetch me a small piece of that meteorite and whatever you do dont break the meteorite.

why do you feed aleaxandria the great feet first into a man sized blender...


to enjoy the expression on his face.

how do you kill a 5yo alexandira the great by starvation ... you wipe his nose with a handkerchief.


...BUUURN!!!!!!!!!!!

Is this a joke about killing children? Really?
Kids? What is wrong with you?

yes about a snotnosed little kid whose dad was banned for 15 years from driving and now he pretends he is his dad. competition is for worst joke 🙂

http://www.erepublik.com/pt/article/fight-for-cool-people-2416992/1/20

So cpt jackson goes to the an irish psychiatrist and say. Everything in my life is just a mess my job my personal life and my finances.

So the psychiatrist looks at him and say rey harder.

So Cpt that night after s* with his gf start bawling booo hooo hooo . So his gf gives him one look and say to ell with tis I am not going to marry a little cr...y bay ..by [she is also irish]

So he is 0 for 3. The following day he goes to his work and start crying and crying. So his undertaker boss after 3 hours of this say go cry on the pavement with all of the other beggars and fires him.

Finally he goes to the bank and in a crying voice say I lost my job and my gf could you boo hoo give me perhaps a month postponement to pay my loan again. Bank refuses and sells all of his properties.

So Cpt Jackson is 3 for 3 so he goes back to the pshyciatrist and say your advice just cost me my job, gf and all my monies why did you tell me to cry harder. Noy says the Irish pshyciatist I didnt say kry karder I said rey harder rey rey not kry. What! says Cpt Jackson are you kidding me wtf is rey. Rey says the psychiatrist T.R.Y rey.

[truly original worst joke ]

http://www.erepublik.com/pt/article/fight-for-cool-people-2416992/1/20

Worst joke? I'll stick with the cow theme.

What do you call a truck full of masturbating cows?
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Beef Strokenoff

The sound?

Sounds like a beep of an item scanning at the register and then a cash dispenser, like from an atm or one of those self-scan machines at the grocery store

Grianne who is a rl cockney asks Alexandria"Can you look at me boobie for a few hours?". Alexandria is so excited he immediately shoots one off. Yes he screams excitedly yes. So Grianne hands over her baby for him to look after for a few hours. 😉

And finally its now so bad in Southie the pitbulls have their own bodyguards.

soun😛 ATM

mike tyson has beaten everyone so hears there is a guy who everyone is afraid off in the old transvaal so he goes there. he ask the petrol attendant do you know where i can get big john. petrol attendant cowers and looks around and say dont say his name out aloud he goes to the hotel often. so mike goes to the hotel's bar orders a drink and after receiving it he ask bartender where is big john i want to fight him. bartender falls on his ass and points to the swinging doors of the bar. in walks a man 8 foot high with legs as broad as tree trunks and arms to match. nervously mike tyson laughs and hands him his drink and say I'm Mike tyson and always wanted to meet you big John whereby the giant cowers and drops to the floor and in a tiny voice say is Big John here.

ur the 3rd person who did my joke . and its not even my own joke. they ask nyx do you smoke after sex she says I really dont know I have never watched myself after sex.

they ask krakken do you smoke after sex he says I really dont know I have never had sex.

lol if only you knew but i had enough crazy too last me a lifetime burn!

A lifetime burn? Did you have sex with a cactus?

my meaning was clear.

Chlamydia?

coin counter. is the sound first we have the beep and then we have the coins being churned and passed through the machine and counted.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oj4SKgqHhRc

i would say its the coin star machine as beep is exactly the same coins being counted is different though. perhaps yours is bigger coins.

on second thought yes exact sounds so coinstar coin counter or any coin counter.