WHPR [Day 1,051] - Thanks for all the Fish
Day 1,051, 18:54
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Published in USA 
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by
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by James S. Brady Press Room
Appreciation
America, have you noticed something? Is it the lack of a complete screw up for the past two months? The excellence in everything government? The piles of money flooding into your coffers?
There is one man to thank for that, above all others. His name is Krems. You will now spend the remainder of your life wishing that you'd had an administration and leader as capable as his, unless of course you live in the real life Corea. In that case, you are living under a perfectly competent leader.
Honestly, I'm going to just use this space to expand on what has been accomplished and brag about it. No one else can brag like I can, not just because I've got a well practiced ego. It's because I'm the person who gets to know a good deal about your government, without actually having a hand in it.
Sure, I helped the flow of information and the like. Sometimes I was told to be selective of what I posted. That's about all the influence I had.
The best thing that Krems has done is breath some life back into the country. We needed goals and that's something that the invasion of Russia provided us. Not only did we divide up Russia between China, Poland, and us (a hawt threesome if there ever wasn't one), but we freed Lionking. That's a huge deal. We've been trying for months.
The fact that we've had two memorable things will make me look back fondly on this month. So, here's to you Krems. I'm sad to lose you to the grorious sands of Pakistan.
Colin, I'm looking forward to your month.
If you'd like to help Colin's month be roughly 1/5 as good as Krems' was, you should fill out these applications.
Training Corps Application - Everyone should apply for this, especially Marines and Airborne. They need to learn how things work.
Human Resources Application - Apply here so that you can be involved in the shadowy day-to-day operations of the government.
Soon, your cabinet and updates on the domestic front will be all up in yo' monitor.
Don't hate me,
Kentel
Greatest White House Press Release Writer of All Time. Of all time.
America, have you noticed something? Is it the lack of a complete screw up for the past two months? The excellence in everything government? The piles of money flooding into your coffers?
There is one man to thank for that, above all others. His name is Krems. You will now spend the remainder of your life wishing that you'd had an administration and leader as capable as his, unless of course you live in the real life Corea. In that case, you are living under a perfectly competent leader.
Honestly, I'm going to just use this space to expand on what has been accomplished and brag about it. No one else can brag like I can, not just because I've got a well practiced ego. It's because I'm the person who gets to know a good deal about your government, without actually having a hand in it.
Sure, I helped the flow of information and the like. Sometimes I was told to be selective of what I posted. That's about all the influence I had.
The best thing that Krems has done is breath some life back into the country. We needed goals and that's something that the invasion of Russia provided us. Not only did we divide up Russia between China, Poland, and us (a hawt threesome if there ever wasn't one), but we freed Lionking. That's a huge deal. We've been trying for months.
The fact that we've had two memorable things will make me look back fondly on this month. So, here's to you Krems. I'm sad to lose you to the grorious sands of Pakistan.
Colin, I'm looking forward to your month.
If you'd like to help Colin's month be roughly 1/5 as good as Krems' was, you should fill out these applications.
Training Corps Application - Everyone should apply for this, especially Marines and Airborne. They need to learn how things work.
Human Resources Application - Apply here so that you can be involved in the shadowy day-to-day operations of the government.
Soon, your cabinet and updates on the domestic front will be all up in yo' monitor.
Don't hate me,
Kentel
Greatest White House Press Release Writer of All Time. Of all time.
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Comments
😁
Oh god, I wrote this terribly. Don't judge me.
I don't hate you Kentel.
ah Kentel's back. Sweet.
i love kentel with a burning passion
OMG tis the best writer of all time!
Sexy writer in the house.
Voted up
Yes, I'm a sexy writer. Thanks Athanaric. 🙂
Lol'd at Kanye West reference.
Don't worry Hobbit we luv you too.
St. Krems saved my life.
I was in a bar/restaurant, and started choking on a nacho.
Krems responded to the crisis immediately, giving me the Heimlich maneuver.
Thanks, Krems, and I really don't care if that was a Sharpie, or roll of quarters, or whatever, in your front pocket.
All I know is I owe Krems my life.
Thanks, man.
The glorious administration will be sorely missed.
Krems will be appointed Successor to the Empress ASAP.
Thanks bro
[removed]
Your signature is a lie.