WHPR [Day 1,007] - Congress, Invasion, and New Fortress

Day 1,007, 19:38 • Published in USA USA • by James S. Brady Press Room
Red D…usk?

I’ve been informed that the invasion of Russia has been concluded. I was bawled up in a corner for a few hours after hearing this news, crying my eyes out. However, then I realized that I’ve had a blast. That’s really the only way to put it. There isn’t much to be gained from attacking the rest of Russia. We know that the rest of Russia simply isn’t worth it (By “we” I mean our economy people. Not me. I don’t know these things. Or much, let’s be honest). They aren’t in a position of economic dominance any longer.

Continuing the invasion any longer would just be a waste of funds and military power. There is no reason to do that. Our allies helped us and now we can return the favor. I expect all of you to return the support that our allies showed us. It’s the polite thing to do. We all know Americans are the epitome of politeness.

I just want to finish by saying this was a great time to be the Secretary of Media. I never had a dull day. I never had to make stories appear out of thing air just to fill space. I can’t tell you how much I’ve enjoyed it. Thanks for making it worthwhile.

Congressional Elections

We did so-so during our Party Presidential elections. We need to do better. Rod Damon (the director of our ATO operations). Congress elections are even more important and hectic then any of the others.

It’s important that you read what Rod has to say on the matter here. Follow his directions like they came from Dio himself. We have a responsibility to both Croatia and ourselves this election. Let’s follow those obligations.

Blast from the Past

Remember the fortress strategy? It got put in the trash bin because it was considered obsolete in V2. Well, we’re bringing it back. We are going to occupying Far Western Alaska (hereafter referred to as Far Eastern Russia, for clarity). This will help secure our new colony.

Several prominent Americans should soon be writing about this soon, because that’s what the cool kids do. If you want to be in Far Eastern Russia, apply for a ticket here. You’ll get sent one soon and you’ll soon be chilling (look, another terrible pun) in FER, helping America’s colony stay safe. Do it. Now.

Links, oh my:
• The President’s Newspaper – An article was posted. Excellent.
• The Vice President’s Newspaper – This made Publius comment on my article. SO GOOD.
• The Pony Express – Might be undergoing renovations soon.
• Department of Defense Orders – I don’t know who they are. They sound official though. Better follow.

Don’t hate me,

Kentel
Secretary of MEdia