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“I'm not an old, experienced hand at politics. But I am now seasoned enough to have learned that the hardest thing about any political campaign is how to win without proving that you are unworthy of winning.” - Adlai E. Stevenson



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White House Press Release - Wednesday, October 27th
by Nicholas Ryan

Firstly, a hearty congratulations to all our Congressional winners! With the exception of a bit of concern for a race in New York, we had the most worry free elections in my short memory, thanks to the fine blocking of our fellow citizens and the members of our proud military who took time out to protect the other side of the fence and perhaps a little credit due to the herculean monthly effort of the FEC, Election Coordinators *ahem* and Party Presidents.

I had a chance to sit down with recently elected Congressmen Mourning Star of, as it happens, my recently vacated seat in Nevada. Congressmen Morning Star hails from The Federalist Party and is serving his Seventh Consecutive term in Congress.

NicholasRyan: Now this isn't your first term in congress? Which were the other ones?
MourningStar: I spent 5 terms in New Jersey, 1 in Alaska, and this one is now number 7 in Nevada; all consecutive.
NicholasRyan: Oh, really? I had no idea you'd served in congress so long. I'll not ask divisive and hilarious questions about New Jersey. Do you hold any other party or government positions?
MorngingStar: Not currently, though in the past I have held many many party positions as well as some government positions, including a spot in the presidential cabinet. As you know, The Feds have a party militia known as Easy Company.
NicholasRyan: This I do know, you guys have a cool frame. :3
MourningStar: I was one of the founding members of EZ. As well as its commander, and eventual Military Director for quite some time.
NicholasRyan: Urh-hurr. I see. Do you have any issues you're particularly interested in seeing addressed this session?
MourningStar: Well, hopefully we can do a little more than last month. Pretty quiet last month.
NicholasRyan: Yes, it was. 😁;
MourningStar: I’m interested in seeing how the new Speaker and whips handle this months activity. voting or discussing ANYTHING this month would be a big improvement.
NicholasRyan: Who are you thinking about for Speaker, while we're on the topic?
MourningStar: Well.....if they ever accept the nomination.... It would be good to see Astra back in action, but I want Rainysunday in there for sure. She has always been on her ish.
NicholasRyan: That's what I wanted to hear. :3
MourningStar blows raspberries at me.
NicholasRyan: That should about wrap things up. Much congrats on your term, Senator. Anything you'd like to say to all the nice people tl;dring past this?
MourningStar: Certainly....... Gang Rape is Strictly Prohibited, Civil Code 9A.090
MourningStar: ^ Respect
NicholasRyan: That would explain all my legal troubles... Good to know!
MourningStar winks at me, filling this reporter with a terror words cannot approach.
NicholasRyan: You have a nice session. 🙂
MourningStar: thanks for your time
NicholasRyan: And yours

If you’ve been lobotomized at some point in your life and are actually interested in keeping up with Congressional discussion, you can view the public portion of the forums here, and should probably consider running next term, since you’re already over-qualified.

If you’re crazy about procedural wranging but not sure if you’re ready for the responsibility, sign up for the model congress in this thread.

All jokes aside, great work to everyone and much appreciation to all the winners. Congress doesn’t get as much love as it should.



Now, I’d like to talk about a little something else.

People are always asking me, ‘Nicholas Ryan, what can I do to make America the best gol-durn America it can be?’ And my response is always the same; ‘My son, to apply for and fill a position for the eUS Department of Human Resources is the most distinguished service a man can render for his country. Anyone can play a game they like, it takes a hero to play one they don’t like... now nevermind that splatter stain on the wall, Fuller’s widow will be by in the next hour or so to collect his personal effects... tell her you spilled coffee on the wall, we don’t need her making a mess in here too. Did you sign those contracts indemnifying the eUS Department of Human Resorces for all psychological damages? Excellent. It’s great to have you aboard.’

Seriously, I say that every time. I don’t know why every person they put in that desk’s last name is Fuller... reminds me of 1984.

Anyway, there’s important work that needs some people who are dedicated to the furthered success of the eUnited States and her peoples, great and small. To find out how to count yourself among these greatest of Americans, please sign up for the eUS Department of Human Resources and find out how you can make a difference.



As President Lantrip explained yesterday in his article, there have been several staffing changed. Here is your updated cabinet:

CABINET LIST

President - Colin Lantrip
Vice Pres - Alexander Hamilton

Chief of Staff - CRoy (Previously Speedcat McNasty)
Deputy Chief of Staff - Max Wallingbottom III
Deputy Chief of Staff - Julain Mizu
Deputy Chief of Staff - Laxsnor

Secretary of State - Emerick|gagah (Previously GlaDOS/Myles Robinson)
Deputy Secretary of State - Tyler Jenkins
Deputy MoFA - Athanaric

Secretary of the Interior - Justin McCravok
Deputy Secretary of the Interior - Ido2407

Secretary of the Treasury - Vacant

Secretary of Technology - Laxsnor
Deputy Secretary of Technology - Herr Vootsman

Secretary of Media - Gulden Draak (Previously CRoy)
Deputy Secretary of Media - Nicholas Ryan
Staff Writer - Kentel

Secretary of Defense - Angelini

Secretary of Education: Blank Keating (previously rainy)
Deputy SoE: rainy sunday

Office of Militia Support - Jacksondr5

Grand Vizier - Gagah
Advisor - Deficus

Presidential Adviser - Josh Frost
Presidential Adviser - Jewitt
Presidential Adviser - Scrabman
Presidential Adviser - Bradley Reala

Honorary Glomper: Zyria



This concludes another WHPR from the office of Colin Lantrip.
Good night and good luck, America.

Signed,
Nicholas Ryan
Deputy Secretary of Media and all around TOP GUN American