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Well, the rilly big news of this party election cycle in the eUS of A's is that the ever-loving Socialist Freedom Party has relocated itself in one swell foop into the first rank of 6th parties. This clever sleight-of-hand was engineered by none other than that (in)famous hippie rabble-rouser (and multiple-time-former-PP of the SFP) Jude Connors, who led the SFPers out of exile, parted the e-waters and led them into the promised land of the defunct Liberty Advancement Party, where he handily won the PP slot with 55% of the votes, and, more to the point, handily inherited the LAP's pile of dead souls, who make up a significantly larger set than the collection of mortified spirits haunting the old SFP.

Jude, who inherits a very active SFP that had been significantly rejuvenated in recent months under the awesome leadership of outgoing four-term PP Captain Recks, wasted no time making that "Redwood Originals" kind of socialist-freedom spirit felt in the US media with Do You Know the ABC's, a blistering broadside critique of the e-American Bourgeois Class that criticizes both the war with Canada and the funding scheme behind it.


Yikes, it's the men of mayhem and a bunch of freaking bears! O.M.G.!


Must say, though, it does a tired old anarcho-commie-clown like me good to see polemics like this in the pages of the eRep press. I could almost feel the ghost of Osmany Ramon looking on in approval, you know?

Interestingly, Chairman Connors also noted in his article that the SFP has formed an electoral pact with the Black Sheep Party for the next Congress election.




The Ghost of Osmany Ramon



Oh. As for the old SFP, yours truly (me!) defeated socialist-freedom brother and Black Sheep aficionado LinkMann in order to have the privilege of turning off the lights in the old Party clubhouse. Currently I am just sweeping the place for roaches, if you catch my drift.




PQ preventing some rightist bourgeois varmints from desecrating the old SFP clubhouse.








But of course the SFP party election and clubhouse shift wasn't the only excitement going on in the wild and wacky world of 6th party elections. A quick round-up of some of the other Sixer elections will highlight for you the fact that a Tide is rising in e-America!!... And its name is Justice!


Well. First. It's important to note that this freedom-socialist wave is in no way tied into the fake-revolutionism of certain ptotonic forces who themselves must be served repeated doses of justice. To wit: in the world of whaling, the Narwhal Conspiracy devotes itself to stomping out surprise attacks from wily Balkanic land-sharks. Othere walloped her way into the top spot here with 61% of the vote against a whole array of mystery-servo-mechanisms. (Plus one very sexy-looking Mcbober. Oh, myyyyy!)


But enough of that. We don't want to waste too much valuable e-ink on those people and their nefarious shenanigans.


More interestingly....

Amongst far-left Anarchist parties, none has a firmer place in the heart-cockles of e-anarchists all over the Grand Republic than The NoS Party Dive Bar. Its rank in 27th place doesn't do justice to the role that this intrepid group (which is a charter member of the International Sea Animal Terrorist Organization, dedicated to larger members and stiff pants) has played in the bringing both huge roaring guffaws and rousing pffffffts's to the mouths of players for generation upon generation. General Candor once again carried the day at the NoS Party PP spot, with an astounding 100% of the votes. (Thunderous applause!!!) In true anarchist spirit, when asked to comment on his victory, Candor replied, "zzzzzzzz... Huh? What? Hey! How'd you get in here?".

Moving on...

Even though legendary iconoclast Joseph Dinero has gone on to embrace the ultra-left movement now sweeping the country by becoming PP of the United Communist Front, the good ol' Bastards of Liberty still exist. The RAVEN BG now leads the BoL, which is still a determined cell of freedom-fighters seeking to oust the entrenched bourgeois class and lead a just uprising of The Rest of Us against the vile masters.

Speaking of Comrade Dinero, you earnest revolutionaries, strict constitutionalists and real American veterans out there may be interested to note that the UCF espouses a manly authoritarian far-leftism that is united, for the people, for freedom of speech, and is steadfast in the belief that the game is for everyone, not just a select few. (Right on!)

Joining brother Dinero on the Communist-inspired far-left fringe, but from a far-left libertarian perspective, is the PCE USA, which is the USA branch of the Communist Party of e-Italy. Though carrying only two members at present and somewhat sneakily lurking all the way back in 37th place in the party rankings, there can be no doubt -- judging from his awesome avatar -- that Compagno-PP Daniel Cheers brings a staunch, but quite fashionable, proletarian internationalist perspective into the rising tide of demands for social justice, player dignity and human solidarity now sweeping the nation.



Finally....

A wrap-up of interesting sixth-party goings-on would not be complete without a nod to our old friends on the far-right, the Libertarian Party. This party is so right that is sometimes comes back around to being more left than so-called center-lefts, not to mention more liberationist than the fake-liberationist-left. Anyhoo, Normand X managed a 67% win there, which is noteworthy if no other reason than the fact that this guy's news articles are either really brilliant parody, or some of the best eRep role-playing I've ever seen, or just completely, irrevocably nuts. Or maybe all three. Check it out: The Post-Standard. I am telling you, this little gem may just be the best newspaper ever conceived.







OK, I'm out. As always, XOXOXXOXOXOX to all, even to the vile masters who will soon be overthrown by the righteous uprisings of the proletarian masses, who will probably be led by the Mother of Dragon-bong-hits, who in a mighty flood of lulz, will unite the people as never before. Yeah.

Arise. Arise ye-slaves no more enthralled!

You have nothing to lose but your boredom!


{Imagine dramatic music here. And more speechifying. And roaring crowds.}


















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