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You are reading an article written by a citizen of eRepublik, an immersive multiplayer strategy game based on real life countries. Create your own character and help your country achieve its glory while establishing yourself as a war hero, renowned publisher or finance guru.

How I became a wanker

Day 2,540, 03:57 • Published in United Kingdom

• by Gego Gugula

Long story short, I woke this morning having been a member of UKPP to find my self in WANK with Wayne Kerr as PP. We are now wankers. How droll.

You can be a wanker too. Perhaps you are one already but are too scared to admit it.

Initially I was mildly offended, but then asked myself, who isn't a wanker deep down? If you look at the rewards for mercenary medals and resistance wars which destabilise countries for gold and medals, you cannot help think Plato rewards you for this kind of behaviour anyway. And let's face it, the UKPP logo is rather phallic. Perhaps Wayne Kerr stumbled upon something. Do you really pull against the grain, or go with the rhythm of the rest?

May as well call it what it is. Officially label it. Join today and be true to yourself. Out yourself as a wanker. All the cool kids are doing it.