Ghost in the Machine:

Day 2,795, 15:27 • Published in USA USA • by Jimmy Cincinnati

Issue #91


Uncensored Ghost Fu:

I lifted the toilet seat and let it rip. Suddenly, I heard the ringtone for SFP headquarters.
I fumbled for my phone and dropped it into the toilet. Quickly as I could; I fished it out of the toilet and removed the battery. The phone still had toilet water on it, so I rinsed it off and set it out to dry.
for the first time in months, I would use my landline.

I called the SFP and got a busy signal. "That's weird," I thought, "As their Secretary General; I'm sure we have call waiting." Curiosity was getting the best of me, so I put on some pants, jumped into the old Buick and went to investigate.

The SFP headquarters were dark and quiet; which is what I expected. Before long, however, I noticed the strobing of a flashlight, on the third floor.

I was going to call the police and have them investigate, but I remember that my phone was drying on the sink.
Reluctantly, I grabbed the tire iron and went to investigate.

In the reception area; the phone was buzzing, beside the receiver. The display was indicating; 0 new messages. I guess that the perpetrator was looking through the messages. I left the phone where it was.

I took the stairs, to third floor, because I knew the elevator would tip off the intruders.
I closed the door, quietly and made my way toward the repository.
The hallway was littered with papers and only the emergency lights, which were motion activated, illuminated the way.
As I, cautiously, approached the first door; I gripped the tire tool and leaned over the threshold. (Nothing, but a mess.)
I looked down the hallway and made my way to the next door that was opened.
There was one person in a ski mask and black clothes. Before I could sneak up on them, they noticed me.
I said, "What the fuck do you think you're doing? At that point, the assailant raised a pistol and let three shots fly. The first shot hit my stomach. The second shot went through my hand and hit my shoulder. The third shot barely grazed my ear.
The intruder ran by me and exited the building. I stayed down for a minute and pretended to be dead, but then I thought; "If I don't do something, I'm going to bleed to death."
I got up and linped over to PilotPhils office. From there, I called emergency services.
When the paramedics arrived; they told me that I was a ghost and that I was being a drama queen. (My tax dollars at work.)





Organic Vegetable Soup for the Revolutionary Soul:

I saw a shout today. It asked the question; "Does this party support a dictator?"
I clicked the link and I was about to tell them, "All dictators must die," but I read some of the other comments which stated that there was no official policy.
I, however, disagree:
Dictator is in power, so not opposing it= support.
Every time we vote, every click of the fight button and every time we join the eUS forum; we are lending support to a dictator.
Dictator doesn't need consent. Only thing a dictator needs us for is to fight and produce. If you can do that without stopping to question, "Why," you have given the dictator all the support they need.




Grab a pen and paper. Help us write the people's history.