Friday's Daily Dose

Day 2,537, 04:58 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Nights0ul

Potpourri


Michael Jones, of Albuquerque, New Mexico, was due to meet with his probation officer.

However, there was one small problem…he had no transportation. So he went to Walmart and stole a motorized shopping cart

When the officer asked him where he got the cart, he 'fessed up to the theft. He’s now been charged with larceny and receiving stolen property.


Jokes

A man has to take a business trip overseas so he entrusts his best friend with the job of keeping an eye on his wife. If anything out of the ordinary should occur, his friend was to notify him immediately.

After about a week with no contact, the businessman received a telegram containing only one sentence. "The man who comes to visit your wife every night didn't show up yesterday."

-o-o-o-o-

The class was studying the Middle Ages, and all the kids were having fun learning about chivalry and knights and such.

When it came time for all the Knights to become 'Knighted', Terry asked the teacher, "Do all the ladies get 'Laid' tomorrow?"

-o-o-o-o-

After the pastor finished his sermon, he stayed at the doors and shook the people's hands as they went by, making sure to give a smile and a kind word to each one.

By the time he finished, most of the people milling around in the church lobby had left except for a few. The pastor noticed in particular one elderly woman who was sitting on one of the hallway plush benches, nearly in tears, rocking back and forth. Concerned, Touched, he laid a hand on the white head. "Ma'am, God has heard you. I am sure that He will come through for you," he said, soothingly. She looked up at him with a small smile and thanked him.

Feeling that he had done a very good deed, he turned and was about to walk out the doors when one of the bathroom doors opened and someone came out. The pastor definitely had a feeling of chagrin when the old woman yelled, "Praise the Lord!" and ran inside.

-o-o-o-o-

When a woman says, "Correct me if I'm wrong, ....", DON'T DO IT! IT'S A TRAP! Do NOT; I repeat, do NOT correct this woman! The life you save will be your own.