Boring missions 2

Day 2,877, 15:07 • Published in USA USA • by Acaedith

This will be part 2 of the articles I am writing to complete my mission, again I will just be posting some jokes and asking that people please leave a comment to help me reach my goal.





A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a New England Patriots fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Pats fans, too. Not really knowing what being a Pats fan meant, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, the students' hands flew into the air. There was, however, one exception. Lucas was not going along with the crowd. The teacher asked him why he had decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Patriots fan" he said. "Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?" "I'm an Indianapolis Colts fan," boasts the little boy. The teacher asks Lucas why he is a Colts fan. "Well, my dad and mom are Colts fans, so I'm a Colts fan, too" he responds. "That's no reason," the teacher says. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot. What would you be then?" Lucas smiles and says, "Then I'd be a New England Patriots fan."


Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"


I was at a funeral today and I asked the priest for the WiFi password.
"Have some respect for the dead!" He said.
"Ok," I replied. "Is that all lowercase without spaces?"


A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly.
Lorraine dies suddenly.
At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."


During a funeral, the pallbearers accidentally bump into a wall and hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find out that the woman is actually alive.
She lives for 10 more years and then dies. There is another funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket.
As they are walking out, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"



Thanks
Acaedith