[Social] Why you shouldn’t be offended of what Indonesians say

Day 2,628, 03:01 • Published in Croatia Indonesia • by DevaJr
Good Morning and Afternoon,
May The Force Be With You!
Day 2,628 North Croatia, Croatia Empire

Hello all my friends, especially my Croatian friends 🙂
Today i want to share a writing about indonesians' habit that often make you feel being offended. These habits usually make our foreign friends misunderstanding about what we want to express, this writing are written in a Indonesian's blog. hope you understand about our habits 😃

[SOURCE]


Miss Indonesia 2013, Vania Larissa

Indonesians are known for their friendliness because we have been taught to be polite, know our manners, and to always smile. But, there are some things that Indonesians often say that are considered rude by non-Indonesians, especially by Europeans. I for one started to feel uncomfortable when my fellow Indonesians say these things to me:

1. When Indonesians meet an acquaintance/ a friend/ a family member, we often comment on each others’ appearance. The most common comments are:

a. “Kamu gendutan ya”: You look fatter. Can you imagine a Western lady getting this kind of comment? She would flip and start to curse the person. But, you shouldn’t be offended with this because the person didn’t mean anything bad saying this. Gaining weight or being a bit on the chunky side in Indonesia means happiness and wealth. If Indonesian thinks that you look so darn fat and hideous, s/he would not say it to your face. Unless you’ve gained 30kgs in the past 2 weeks.

b. “Kamu kurusan ya”:You look skinnier. Okay, this comment may be nicer to hear than the previous one. It’s a nice compliment, but don’t be so sure. If being fat is a sign of wealth and happiness then being skinny means..? Yes, it meant unhappiness, stress and poverty. So, Indonesians usually express concern when they see someone being skinny all of a sudden. They would ask if you’re on a diet and hoping that you are. If not, then you could see concern all over their face. They will ask you to eat more. If you’re lucky, they will feed you until you reach their desired weight.

c. “Kamu jerawatan ya”: This is not too common, but I heard it all the time when I was a teenager. It meant You are so pimply. Again, this comment are not meant to offend, but to express concern. Indonesians could comment about anything about your body just because they are concerned. Afterwards they will give you some tips to remove the problems, from which herbs to use or to which Dukun (witch-doctor) to get advice from. The only thing that Indonesians rarely comment on is body odor. I don’t know why, when it comes to body odor we just pretend that it’s not there.




(Don’t be surprised that some Indonesian still go to a Mbah Dukun (mr. witch doctor) to get ailment for anything you can think of, like broken bones, cancer, love problems, to get promoted, to kill a political opponent. You name it and Mbah Dukun can help you)

2. “Bawain oleh-oleh donk” This is the kind of comment that travelers often hear. Please bring me some stuff. When Indonesians know someone is traveling abroad, they expect the traveler to bring something for them. They would be brazen enough to ask you to bring something for them, for instance keychains, magnets, etc. Some even go as far as asking you to buy luxury stuff (e.g. Gucci bag) or bulky stuff (e.g. baby bathing tub - this is from experience, really!). Even if they’d pay you back for the expensive stuff, it’s still annoying especially when you travel on a budget.

3. “Gue comblangin loe sama si….” Being single is socially unacceptable for Indonesians. Okay, maybe I’m being hyperbolic here, but Indonesians can’t resist matchmaking people. We love being a mak comblang (a slang for cupid). Even when we just met someone that we think is suitable for a single friend, we would try our luck to introduce them to each other and say, I’ll matchmake you with…

You don’t have a boy/girlfriend? You’ve passed your used by date!!



4. “Kapan nyusul?” This is the most annoying comment that any single or unmarried person could hear. It meant when will you follow in the context of marriage. For Indonesians, being married is a destination in life. One has to be married in order to fulfill a lifetime achievement and to be supremely happy. So, when you go to a wedding, be ready to hear this comments A LOT if you’re single or in a relationship.

5. “Kamu udah isi?” This is a comment that I often hear as a newlywed. It literally meant are you already filled? It sounds weird, I know. I don’t know why a lot of Indonesians can’t say the word hamil (pregnant). The word seemed rude to be said to a woman. The best answer for this question is that you’re waiting to be blessed with a child or, better yet, that you’re expecting. The worst answer is that you’re not interested to have a child yet or ever. For Indonesians, marriage should be fruitful, thus a child should be welcomed as soon as possible. In my case, as many as possible (fingers crossed).

To our non-Indonesian readers, don’t be upset when an Indonesian say all these things to you. We mean no harm at all. Just remember that we are taught to protect people’s feelings at all times, so if we say something rude, it’s because we don’t know about the local way to be polite. Just respond with a smile and tell us that it’s not appropriate to make that kind of statement/ question.


"dream as high as the sky, if you are fell, you'll fall among the stars"
-Soekarno, Founding Father of Indonesia


DevaJr/nadief