We Interrupt This Broadcast for some Breaking News...
Day 1,455, 17:44
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Published in Ireland 
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by
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by John Gormley
Gormley Passed Fit!
After some recent horrid skirmishes, Gormley finally received some better news today. His doctors looked him over this evening, and reported that he has recovered from the trauma of what are now known as "Cupboard-gate" and the "Toilet Duck Fiasco".
Mister Gormley's physicians gave the man a clean bill of physical health, though expressing their "deep reservations" about his mental health and commenting that "maybe we should have left him die...?!"
So, this long-awaited stroke of good luck preceded a special announcement from the eccentric veteran politician and soldier...
"If you hold off on the groaning for a second, I have a further announcement to make. During my time of hardships, I have focused almost solely on my military duties. I have tried my best to fulfill my Congress duties as much as possible but haven't always succeeded due to my personal traumas...and obviously my utter incompetence.
But today I am announcing I plan on making a full and immediate return to frontline politics. This will begin with me running once again for Party President of the Irish Independent Party and, if you could throw some votes my way, I'll try not to spit on your food supplies and load your Q5 weapons with bananas but I might not be able to help myself..."
Gormley promptly turned around, tripped over and faceplanted into a pit of burning coals.
Everyone is still laughing 3 hours later.
After some recent horrid skirmishes, Gormley finally received some better news today. His doctors looked him over this evening, and reported that he has recovered from the trauma of what are now known as "Cupboard-gate" and the "Toilet Duck Fiasco".
Mister Gormley's physicians gave the man a clean bill of physical health, though expressing their "deep reservations" about his mental health and commenting that "maybe we should have left him die...?!"
So, this long-awaited stroke of good luck preceded a special announcement from the eccentric veteran politician and soldier...
"If you hold off on the groaning for a second, I have a further announcement to make. During my time of hardships, I have focused almost solely on my military duties. I have tried my best to fulfill my Congress duties as much as possible but haven't always succeeded due to my personal traumas...and obviously my utter incompetence.
But today I am announcing I plan on making a full and immediate return to frontline politics. This will begin with me running once again for Party President of the Irish Independent Party and, if you could throw some votes my way, I'll try not to spit on your food supplies and load your Q5 weapons with bananas but I might not be able to help myself..."
Gormley promptly turned around, tripped over and faceplanted into a pit of burning coals.
Everyone is still laughing 3 hours later.
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That is a lie!! 😛
Elect the guy who likes Toilet Duck thrills. Good luck.
John Gormley back in politics, my it's been forever!
JG for PP!
"cupboard gate " and "toilet duck fiasco" Both carefully prepared election stunts , Do not trust this man with any of your household items , He's a menace and needs to be stopped ; )
"focused almost solely on my military duties"
😉
😛!
xD
Good, we need more people focused on politics
♥
"Good, we need more people focused on politics", not.
We need more soldiers, wars get started by politicians and won by soldiers 😉
The doctor may have given you a clean bill of health but the rest of us are still traumatized by the mental pictures. (Shudder)
vote vote sir