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A message to His Majesty the CP of Greece and all his entourage.
Un missatge per a Sa Majestat el CP de Grècia i tot el seu sèquit.

ENGLISH

When this term started, I was confident about you, fellow Greeks. In the awakening of the first civilizations you developed the first known direct democracy, letting emerge statesmen like Pericles or Solon, orators like Demosthenes, that showed to the world the excellence of his rhetoric, acclaimed as perfect by the Roman senator Cicero; your lands saw the birth of ones of the greatests philosophers in history, such as Plato (who wrote about the Theory of Forms and so, not the one that rules this game) and Aristotle, so influential in the future until these days we are living. You even ruled most of the known world inventing colonisation, nearly all comprised in the Mediterranean waters was yours: from Emporion to Cyrene, from what now is Catalonia, to what was and is Egypt, until the times of Alexander. And by that, with the help of the Macedons, you extended your culture every site our sight could reach. Egypt too; if somebody does an analysis of the DNA of our two countries, the results would be matching.

As I said previously, I was confident and even excited because of the fact of talking to you, Greeks, and pacting or anything we could achieve together; there were lots of ties between our two societies, and I thought you wouldn’t let that deteriorate. But you stunned, puzzled, overwhelmed (could say more adjectives, but it is not the moment) me; you didn’t want to talk, and yet you don’t want to.

The fact is:

- The Greek CP and the MoFA were the first people that received a PM by me as I started out this term as the liable of the Foreign Affairs of eEgypt. I’m still waiting a response for that. But, anyway, they could have deleted the PM by error.

- Thinking in that, I insisted focusing in the MoFA. I got the same as previously. It was there when I was starting to feel worried.

- Then, I found some people that was supposed to help me to contact with them, but they only did the opposite.

- However, I insisted and tried to talked by the IRC, only taking some sentences in a Greek that I could translate. Do they were from Thrace? What was that Greek? Google couldn’t tell me that. Don’t you know English?

You, the masters of the speech, don’t want to talk to a Minister of one of your conquered countries. Is this that you don’t mind whatever we do? So are we free to go? Or is that you feel so superior that you avoid to be lowered to talk with barbarians?

I know what you are thinking. If I were you, fellow Greeks, I would also be so self-confident. I know that you are not stupid and you have seen you are surrounded by some nice people that really loves your country. Yes, you have got Albania, Macedonia and Bulgaria in the North, and well, you know they will help you fiercely according to the way you and your allies treat them; they are so delighted with you! Next you have Turkey, a Sirius country, but as far as we know, Sirius and Asteria are loyal friends, so no problem according to that. Then you have Cyprus, occupied so many times by you and your ancient imperialism, and us, Egypt. What a lovely surrounding, what a peaceful region you got in there!

What I was demanding was only to talk about our situations peacefully, to sit down and while eating some mezzedes, pact something that could honor our countries. But you seem to having drunk too much ouzo, you are not able to spend a minute to do what your ancestors did masterfully: talking. I have insisted more than I wanted, and I won’t try it more times this term. I’m sure you understand that.

CATALÀ
(recomano, però, llegir-lo en anglès si és possible, ja que és en la llengua que l’he redactat i, com sabeu, sempre és millor la versió original)

Quan va començar aquesta legislatura, confiava en vosaltres, amics grecs. En el sorgiment de les primeres civilitzacions veu desenvolupar la primera democràcia directa coneguda, fent sorgir homes d’Estat com Pericles o Soló, oradors com Demòstenes, que va ensenyar al món l’excel·lència de la seva retòrica, anomenada perfecta per el senador romà Ciceró; les vostres terres van veure nèixer uns dels més grans filòsofs de la història, com Plató (el que va escriure sobre la Teoria de les Idees, no el del joc) i Aristòtil, molt influent en el futur fins els nostres dies. Fins i tot veu tenir en el vostre poder la majoria de les terres conegudes inventant la colonització, quasi tot el que quedava comprès en aigües mediterrànies era vostre: des d’Empúries fins Cirene, des del que ara és Catalunya, fins al que era i és Egipte, fins als temps d’Alexandre. I a partir d’això, amb l’ajuda dels macedonis, veu extendre la vostra cultura arreu on la vista podia arribar. També a Egipte; si algú analitzés els ADN de les nostres nacions, els resultats serien coincidents.

Com he dit prèviament, confiava i estava fins i tot nerviós per a començar a parlar amb vosaltres, grecs, i pactar o el que fos que poguessim arribar; hi havien molts llaços entre les nostres poblacions, i pensava que no volieu que es deterioressin. Però vosaltres heu destrossat la meva confiança; no heu volgut parlar, i encara no voleu.

La cosa és:

- El CP i el MoFA grecs vàren ser els primers als que vaig enviar un MP a l’agafar la cartera d’Afers Exteriors d’Egipte. Encara espero resposta. Però bé, de totes maneres, potser van eliminar el missatge per error.

- Pensant això, vaig insistir amb el MoFA. Vaig rebre el mateix que en el punt anterior. Aquí és quan em vaig començar a posar nerviós.

- Aleshores vaig trobar gent que suposadament m’havia d’ajudar a contactar amb la classe dirigent, però van fer just el contrari.

- Sense rendir-me, vaig intentar parlar-hi per l’IRC, tenint com a resposta frases en un grec itraduible. Eren de Tràcia? Quin grec era aquell? Google no va ser capaç de dir-m’ho. No sabeu anglès?

Vosaltres, els mestres de la discursiva, no voleu parlar amb un dels ministres d’un dels vostres països conquerits. És que no us importa el que fem? Som lliures de marxar? O és que us sentiu tan superiors que eviteu rebaixar-vos a parlar amb bàrbars?

Sé el que esteu pensant. Si jo fos vosaltres, amics grecs, també estaria totalment confia de la meva grandesa. Sé que no sou estúpids i heu vist que esteu rodejats de gent que estima moltíssim el vostre país. Sí, teniu a Albània, Macedònia i Bulgària al nord, i bé, tots sabem que us ajudaran feroçment sabent com vosaltres i els vostres aliats els heu tractat; estan encantats! Després teniu Turquia, un país Sirius, però pel que sabem, Sirius i Asteria són amics lleials, oi? Cap problema doncs. Aleshores està Xipre, ocupat moltes vegades per vosaltres i el vostre antiquíssim imperialisme, i nosaltres, Egipte. Quin entorn més meravellós, quina regió més tranquila teniu aquí!

Només demanava parlar de les nostres situacions pacíficament, asseure’ns i, mentre menjavem alguns “mezzedes”, pactar alguna cosa honorosa pels dos països. Però sembla que hagueu begut massa “ouzo”, no sou capaços de gastar un simple minut en fer el que els vostres ancestres feien immillorablement: parlar. He insistit més del que volia, i no ho tornaré a intentar en aquesta legislatura. Estic segur que ho entendreu.

Rupert Hallamer, Director (and MoFA)