The Seven Dwarfs

Day 2,741, 18:19 • Published in USA USA • by Evry

Gather ‘round kids, I have come to tell you a story about the trials and tribulations of The Seven Dwarfs



The Characters:


Synesi as Sneezy


BeachBunny as Bashful


Evry as Happy


Aramec as Doc


Greeling as Dopey


Rainy Sunday as Sleepy


Israel Stevens as Grumpy


Beerman as Papa Smurf





The start of our story finds all 7 of our dwarfs at the AMP Party Clubhouse. Grumpy (Israel Stevens) is sitting in a rocking chair reminiscing about the good ol’ times with Sleepy (Rainy Sunday) who is barely staying awake while randomly interjecting about all those times she saved the DoI from inactivity. Doc (Aramec) is found on the grass attempting to help Sneezy (Synesi) with his perpetual sneezing attacks. Happy (Evry) is playing in the pool with Dopey (Greeling) while Bashful (BeachBunny) is hiding inside baking everyone a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies.

Suddenly, there is a knock at the door, and Papa Smurf (Beerman) hobbles into the room, looking a little more blue than usual.



He takes a seat and begins to tell his assorted friends about the problem plaguing Smurf Village;

“Well, we weren’t always blue, you know. A long long time ago, the smurfs and the dwarfs were very similar. We both were short in height and pink in color. Both of us were a peace-loving people ready to welcome and entertain anyone who visited. However, the smurfs were told of this place up north near Federalville ran by the every-loyal Federalist Party. They heard stories of delicious berries and extremely comfortable pillows and blankets made out of sheep-fur. The dwarfs decided to move South towards where the USWP had their manufacturing plants located in Work-topia. They were attracted to the garden gnomes that the USWP was putting in every garden down South. Both the dwarfs and the smurfs lived on peacefully in their respective areas for many years.”

“Achooooo!” Sneezy (Synesi) sneezes.

“What happened next Papa Smurf?” asked Dopey (Greeling).

“Well, the Federalist Party began shearing too many of the sheep for their comfy pillows and blankets. And the Sheep rebelled!”

“Oh no!” shrieked Bashful (BeachBunny).

“It wan’t pretty. At first the Black Sheep only rebelled against the Federalists until they heard that the Smurfs were the ones that were using all their fur for pillows and blankets. And then the BSP came up with a plan. They were going to slowly poison the smurfs and be rid of them once and for all. At first, their plan wasn’t noticeable. But they were secretly grinding up blueberries into the smurfs food supply. After a few years, people were noticing that the smurfs were turning blue!”

An “Ouch!” is heard from Sleepy (Rainy Sunday) when Grumpy (Israel Stevens) gives her a kick when he noticed she was asleep.

“Over time the smurfs became more and more blue from head to toe!”, continues Papa Smurf. “However, one of our great smurf-dog scientists, Cerb, discovered that a diet consisting mainly of carrots can keep the spreading blue scourge at bay. And this was working for a while. But, now, our carrot farms are not producing as much as they used to, and we’re starting to become more ill!”

“But, how can we help?, interjects Happy (Evry).

“Well, your friends, the garden gnomes are great at encouraging the production of more carrots. But, they’re all locked up in the halls of congress by the WTP caucus!”, responds Papa Smurf (Beerman).

“We should go on down there and rescue the garden gnomes and help our cousins the smurfs then!” proclaims Bashful (BeachBunny).



The 7 dwarfs head out, on their way to Washington in an attempt to save their friends and cousins, the smurfs. Along the way they collect money, gold, and votes. They write articles, and shout out to their friends they encounter to support them in their upcoming journey. However, they have quite a ways to go. They face many foes including the evil Pfeiffer, and the money-grabbing Kemal. They also find themselves confused by Hale26 and his puzzling riddles. Trekker the gecco attempts to marry Bashful (BeachBunny), but, sadly, the wedding must wait until after they complete their journey. Sleepy (RainySunday) is given some coffee to keep her awake for the trip to the Capital, but is later distracted by a poor new citizen on the side of the road. Sneezy (Synesi) sneezed a little too hard and fell off one of the bridges, but is rescued by the ever angry Grumpy (Israel Stevens). Happy (Evry) and Dopey (Greeling) put together a traveling circus to raise a few more dollars and earn a few more votes along the way. Somewhere along the way, Doc (Aramec) nearly found himself censured by Congress again, but Papa Smurf (Beerman) was able to save the day with a filibuster.



With Congress elections almost here, the seven dwarfs discover that they are a few votes shy of releasing the garden gnomes and saving the smurfs from an eternity as blueberries! They need your help!

Will you join the Seven Dwarfs this election and vote for AMP to save their friends? Or will the Black Sheep Party exact their revenge against the smurfs?


Tune in next week for the thrilling conclusion!